Stand!

Life is funny.  When you think you have everything planned out, you will soon realize how "funny" life really is.  Sometimes I think God's two favorite words are "Oh, really???"

I have made plans, changed plans, forgotten plans, gave up on plans, and made plans again.

The last couple weeks have been weeks WITHOUT plans.  I  haven't been able to post like I wanted and things have been sooo busy!  There are things I want to share but I just can't, so I had a bit of writer's block.  And while I haven't done that great-- really I've been beating myself up over my choices lately --somehow the scale has remained the same. Which is actually a surprise. I thought I would have gained more than the 0.6 pounds I did, but maybe my choices weren't so bad after all?

Or maybe I was so intently focused on what I considered to be bad, that I didn't notice the good?

So this week I'm working on focusing better.  And just when I think I'm messing this up again I'm going to remind myself of a favorite scripture: When you have done all that you can to stand, keep standing! (My paraphrase)

Taking the BAD with the GOOD

Guess what!  We celebrated our SIXTEENTH anniversary weekend.  Kind of crazy, right?  When we got married there were people saying we wouldn't make it 3 months, so I think making it 16 years is pretty good.  And we are so going to enjoy the next 16 years, too! :-)

So today was probably the first time since I started living like I'm fit that my stress and depression took such a front row seat that I TOTALLY acted out with my food decisions.  Some plans I made - BIG plans - fell through and it absolutely crushed me.  So bad, in fact, that I went and had not one, but TWO pieces of birthday cake!

Sometimes things happen and you just get to the point where you're like, "I don't care - whatever - just give me the______________" (fill in the blank with chocolate, cake, ice cream, chips...whatever your go-to food item is).

One of the things I've read and tried my best to implement is the advice I got from one of my favorite podcasts, Half Size Me.  The host, Heather, recommends that when you feel a binge coming on (and let's be real --- that was a binge for me even if I didn't take the whole cake at one time), to say to yourself, "This is not going to help me reach my end goal."

My end goal, of course is to lose weight and get healthier.  And honestly, I think I thought about that little phrase, but I just didn't care.  I was in full-blown pity party mode.

So far into that party mode, that when I came home, I had full intentions of putting my jammies on (which I did) and staying in bed the rest of the day.  

But then I remembered my end goal.  And I remembered those two pieces of cake I'd had today.  And I remembered that I could still burn some calories, even if I did 'mess up' earlier.

So the happy ending is, I did my T25 cardio workout - nearly puked again - and feel a little less guilty about my actions today. (Side note:  just for the record, I'm less concerned about the fact that I had birthday cake, and WAY MORE concerned about WHY I had birthday cake.  It was a completely emotional decision.  Not an "I want cake" decision, but more of a "I want to drown my sorrows in this yummy sugary icing" decision.)

But here's the thing.  I'm totally aware that there will be (honestly, there have already been) days where I'm just not going to have the time or the get-up-and-go to correct something that I messed up on earlier.  There may be days that I just cave and become the unfit Tabatha I was a few months ago.

The question then becomes "Can I recover from that point?"

Today---right now, I feel confident that I could.  So maybe that will help with the next time.  Since we're still human, still stuck here on planet earth, I'm pretty sure this won't be the last time.

So now I have to ask myself if it's enough to know I'm not going to do this thing - this living fit - perfectly and just do what I can, when I can?  It's so hard to put up with imperfection coming from myself.  But I guess that's part of this journey...accepting the good and the bad and doing the best I can with both.

Was I crazy? - First A.M. workout with my man!

Well, we finally did it!  We got up at about 5:15 this morning and worked out togethe!.  Working out with my husband is a great experience.  We're close enough that we can be honest with each other, but we also look out for each other too.

Our morning workouts (thanks to a good friend who blessed us with this program) will actually consist of the T25 program.



For those of you familiar with Shaun T or the beachbody family of products, T25 is a shortened, more "focused" version of Insanity.  The great thing is it has a modifier for every move, so for people like me and the hubster, we can still keep up even though we're not bouncing and moving around like Shaun T.  We'll eventually be able to do the regular moves and the results will speak for themselves in the coming weeks.

Jerry's actually pretty excited about it - I haven't really seen him excited about exercising before.  To be fair, though, while cardio is my thing, he HATES cardio --he'd much rather weight train.  So of course he wasn't excited about exercising in the last few months - all I suggested was cardio, LOL!  But he's excited, which makes me even more excited!

We got up this morning and dragged ourselves into the living room to do the first work out: Alpha: Cardio.  Within the first 30 seconds , we were both "feeling it" in our hips and legs!  We pressed on through it, and at about 13-minutes in, didn't think we'd make it.  At about 23 minutes in, I thought I was going to vomit, but I guess since I didn't have breakfast yet, I would up being OK.  Jerry had do some deep breathing, too - but we made it!!  We finished it!!  I wouldn't say we nailed it, but bless God we finished it!!

I've been feeling good pretty much all day from it.  The hips and legs (and for some reason my right knee) are definitely feeling it as the day/night wears on, but we will be getting up again tomorrow to do Alpha: Speed.

It's a very interesting thing to work out with a buddy, though.  I've definitely got a little bit of a competitive streak in me, so I wind up pushing myself, but Jerry and I know each other well enough that we're looking out for each other too.  We were constantly telling each other, "watch your hip on that move" or "make sure your feet are facing forward when you go down"....just so we don't get hurt.  Or maybe so that we don't have to take care of each other if we do get hurt! - LOL

We did take some "before" pics last night, but of course those are going to stay hidden away until they can be compared to our AWESOME "after" pics ...coming in a few months.

Make it an awesome week, friends!

Made for Walkin' and some fave Apps!

Happy Thursday, everybody!

Today was a very emotional day for me - I was stressed to the max, and had planned on going walking before eating lunch.  My office is very supportive of us making fitness a priority, so I can go on a walk (or run, eventually) and come back and work a bit in the office in my work out clothes & "dry off" before putting my office clothes back on.  SUPER good thing, if you ask me.

Anyway, my "lunch time" got pushed back more than an hour, so by the time I got to go walking it was hot as Hades out there and I was mad as a hornet because *my* plans didn't go how I thought they should.  (You know how that is, right?)

But I still got out there and worked it.  This was my first walk-at-work time since probably April or May, and my first time walking on pavement without the family in a while.  If it's just me, my pace tends to be quicker than when I have my dear hubster and my 10-year-old with me.

So here's what myfitnesspal.com says about my workout:

So, 3 more minutes and I would have hit my daily work out goal of 30 minutes, but I'm not too worried about 3 stinkin' minutes!  According to this app, I rocked out my daily calories burned target, but I realize that's just an estimate.

Another app I used, mapmywalk, estimated my calories burned at around 250-something.  This is when I'd REALLY love to have either a fitbit or Jawbone UP to have a better estimate of my calories burned.  We all know that weight loss means you burn more calories and eat less calories, and I'm geeky enough to want an accurate read-out of all that data all the time! :-)

I've found out I'm a bit of an app junkie, though, when it comes to fitness apps. LOL - Here's a quick run-down of what's on my phone right now

sparkpeople (I'm thinking about making the switch, thought, to myfitnesspal.  Basically trying to find out which one I like better as far as inputting info and finding friends/support..  BTW, my username for sparkpeople is fit4tab if you want to find me!)

myfitnesspal (username: tabrewis if you want to find me)

endomondo (supposedly this fitness tracker will track treadmill workouts better than the others - I've only used it twice for treadmill workouts.  Once it did great & the other time didn't track well at all - which may have been user error, so the jury is still out on this one.)

C25K (Couch to 5K - love this!! It will supposedly integrate seamlessly with myfitnesspal for tracking, so I'll let you know if it's as good as they say.)

Runtastic (I used this quite a bit earlier this year when I was much farther along my Couch 2 5k journey.  I'm still making up the ground I lost now.)

MapMyWalk (I downloaded this just recently since I feel sort of like an imposter using Runtastic if I'm only walking at this point - LOL)

Half Size Me Weight Loss Coach (this is the app inspired by my favorite podcast.  I've just downloaded it, but you can set your own goals and it will keep your reminded of them when the going gets tough.  There's lots of audio encouragements and quotes that will keep you motivated to make the right decisions, whether you're dealing with a potential binge coming on, or dealing with grief and trying not to use things that happen to you as an excuse to eat poorly. It is NOT free, but at only about $2.99, I think it's worth it.  Oh - you can also set up "rewards" for yourself (like a mani/pedi or whatever makes you happy) for meeting goals.  Pretty cool)

Well, here's hoping our Friday is a LOT better than the rest of this week has been.  Both my dad and my grandmother are in the hospital tonight (just a few doors down from each other), so please say prayers for both of them and for our family.

A Quick Motivation Quote List

Whew, what a weekend! After a backache, and 3-day migraine, more trips to the chiropractor and getting to see most of our family over the weekend, I am pooped!  We've not started doing the morning work outs yet, since exercising with a backache and migraine is NOT my idea of fun...but I'm going to do that tomorrow morning, since my headache is gone, praise God!

Since I've been sitting a lot the last few days, I've had plenty of time to think about why I want my life to be different.  I've outlined a few of my motivation points, but today I thought I'd make a list of my favorite quotes to help me keep the focus when the going gets tough (as it's been the last few days).  Hope you enjoy too!  And feel free to share some of your favorite quotes in the comments!

"No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody on the couch."





"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you're doomed if you don't try."






"I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me (HIS) strength." Phil 4:13






Make it a great week, y'all!

Big Announcement- 1st Month Weigh In Results

So, I wasn't going to weigh in today-- I've hurt my back and had to go to the chiropractor and basically have been feeling sorry for myself. But just for the heck of it, I weighed in-- midday, which is a big no-no!  And the results are.....

I LOST EXACTLY TEN POUNDS IN THIS LAST MONTH!  Considering the birthday parties this week, I think that is monumental! 

It had to have been mostly due to the fact that I'm drinking soo much water instead of soda, and the fact that I've seriously curtailed the sweet snacks in favor of protein-rich snacks.  

ANNNNNDDDD, as soon as my back heals, I've talked dear hubster into getting up with me each morning to work out.  I need him to hold me accountable for getting my morning work out in, so for a trade-off, if he does my morning work out with me, I will do whatever evening work out he wants to do - with no complaining!  LOL - He loves biking, but it's one of my least favorite things to do (my balance isn't the best).  But I can trade off a little biking or tennis for some yoga or bootcamp in the morning! :-) 

Woot woot! Thank you, Jesus! :-)

What NOT to Say

(**Disclaimer: This post was incredibly fun &  liberating to write.  My husband said it's "in your face" writing. LOL  --The more I wrote, the more came out.  It's definitely more abrupt than I usually go with, but, hey,  it's what I've got today.)

I've been down this road a few times and if I have to hear some well-meaning (usually incredibly skinny) woman look at me (usually with her perky head tilted, and a fake smile lighting up her botoxed face) and give me anymore unsolicited diet advice, I might just scream!  Or cry.

OK, OK! I'm a lot more vocal here in the safety of this blog, so I probably would just stew about it a while. Silently.  And probably give myself a headache from the stewing... LOL

We've all probably been there.  So for our skinny friends and family, I have put together a "no-no" list so to help them know what NOT to say to ANY overweight person, much less someone who is working hard at shedding the pounds.

1. "Have you tried not eating as much?"  Ummmm. Yes.  Have you tried not breathing as much? Seems extreme (and admittedly more than a little bitter - LOL) but to someone who OBVIOUSLY has a problem controlling their food intake, do you really think there hasn't been times that we HAVEN'T tried to control our urges better?  I don't want to go off on a tangent here, but I can tell you from experience: When someone has a food addiction or eating disorder like binge eating, it takes a LOT more effort to lose weight than just eating less.  You see, my body and mind has gotten used to having emotional triggers tell me when to eat and how much to eat.  Your body can tell you when to stop eating, but I have shoved that part of me down for so many years that I'm still trying to find that part!  I didn't realize how far I had gone until one day I realized that the meal I had just sat down and ate was more than most MEN would eat - and I was still wanting more!  That's what I'm having to deal with.  Not just putting less food on my plate.  I'm having to learn how to eat, and when to eat, and what to eat.  So let's not over-simplify this to make you feel better, hmmm?

2.  "You're on a diet? Me too!  I just feel so fat ... I've got to get this five/ten pounds off me so I can get back to my goal weight!"   5 pounds, huh? So that'll put you at what, 120?  Coincidentally, that's amount of weight I'm trying to lose, myself!  I'm trying to lose one of you!  Seriously, I get that everyone has a battle, but I've got about 20 times more battle than that.  I naturally compare myself to others (and I know I'm not the only one!!), so when I look at your five pounds you *have* to lose, all I see is that my amount is WAY more than yours, and in my mind WAY harder to achieve, giving me WAY more chances to fail.  Does that make sense?  Probably not, but that's what goes through my mind.  Especially when someone with only 5 lbs to lose complains about being fat to the fat girl.  Seriously?

3.  "You should try the XYZ diet!  My boyfriend's mom's sister's baby-daddy's cousin did that and lost like 40 pounds in 6 weeks!"  Wow, that's awesome!  How much did they lose after the 6 weeks?  How much did they keep off?  Like I said, I've been down this road enough to know fad diets work for a time but they fail in the long run.  I don't have time to waste anymore.  I appreciate the offer, but I've got to stick with what works - burning more calories than I take in.  But give your boyfriend's mom's...friend... all the best from me, 'K?

4.  "You're doing so good losing that weight!  Come here and eat some of this deep-fried comfort food with a triple-side of this sugary dessert!"  Oh, my word!  This, my friend, is what you call an enabler.  LOL  For the most part, I believe they truly want you to succeed, but the only way they know to support you is to do what you have always done with them - eat together.  And eat A LOT together.  Really, if you feel the urge to say anything like this to someone trying to lose any amount of weight, please just keep it simple.  Don't offer to reward me for doing well. (Unless it's cash.  Rewarding in cash is ALWAYS acceptable.)  Just let me know that you're proud of me.  That's really all I need anyway.

Working Through the Label I've Given Myself

I realize I shared A LOT in the last two posts - and was definitely more transparent than I have *EVER* allowed myself to be on this subject.  To be honest, I'm still wondering if I shared too much.  But what's done is done, so we're all stuck with it.

I realize, too, that the main reason I still have a problem with it is due to my need to be seen a certain way.  I have a real problem with how I think other people see me - I've always wanted to be accepted, but it's more than that.  And being a Pastor's wife is part of it - feeling the need to be perfect all the time, etc.  - but I can't blame it all on that.

The thing is, I can let myself get absolutely sick worrying about whether this person thought I wasn't good enough when I did xyz, or that person thought I was being uppity because I was too shy to speak.

So admitting that I have an issue with food - that's one thing (OK, a blind man could tell I have an issue with food).  But telling the world that my issue centers around binge eating makes it REALLY personal and really amps up the vulnerability factor for me.  I mean, who would want to seek advice or even a friendship if their Pastor's wife/women's leader, co-worker, mom, sister, etc. had such a huge problem when it comes to controlling their food intake. And, yes, I also realize that is flawed thinking, but for so long it has been MY thinking, so that's part of what I'm working through.

I know I'm not the only one that feels this way - it just seems that way sometimes! ;-)  That's one of the reasons why I decided to restart this blog and document my journey.  Because I know this journey isn't just a physical one.  And maybe there's someone else out there who feels too vulnerable to put their issue out there like this.  Maybe they can find some peace and help through my story.  Granted, my story is still being written, but I'm OK with that.

I did want to address the whole misconception that fat people just need to eat less or move more to be healthier.  On the surface, that's true.  The formula for successful weight loss is simply to burn more calories than you intake. Sounds easy enough, right?

Of course it is!  .....  If you take out emotions and addictions.  But let me tell you: I haven't figured out how to do that, so here we are stuck again.  Stuck in our stinkin' thinkin'.

For years, I didn't think I had an issue like binge eating.  I just thought I was fat because I like food.  Well, the thing that I'm having to learn is this:

Food is just food!

I may think I love food, but food sure doesn't love me back.  And my "love" for food is simply a false emotion anyway.  There's another emotion under there somewhere that is making me want the comfort or distraction of food so that I don't feel that underlying emotion, whatever it is.  

I used to think it was boredom.  I totally think that's a valid emotion, right? 

Now I've realized for me,  it's definitely stress-induced.  Having a hard day at work means you would see me stopping my the convenient store to get a 20-oz Mountain Dew and a Nanee's (local bakery) fresh apple fritter.  (And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I gained back the weight I lost earlier this year so stinking quick!)

Seriously, if my husband was picking me up from work on those days (usually they were days I'd get a call from an irate customer or days I made a mistake on my paperwork), I'd send him a text that said, "bad day.  need a MD and snack."  And, God love him, my husband would bring me exactly what I asked for.  He really spoils me rotten anyway - I'm not ashamed to admit that! :-)

But now I'm learning to direct my attention elsewhere.  Having this blog as an outlet has definitely helped with that.  But another thing that has helped is actually some advice I got from my favorite podcast, "Half Size Me".  (Check it out - on iTunes or Stitcher radio, or go to halfsizeme.com.)  When a binge eater feels the urge to binge, Heather (the host, who went from 315lbs to 150-ish by learning to have a healthier relationship with food) suggests you say to yourself, "I am choosing to eat these 4 donuts even though this will NOT contribute to my goal of reaching a healthy weight." (or insert whatever your goal is).  

She actually suggests saying it out loud, but I'm not to the talking-to-myself stage yet. :-)

I think this post is getting really long, so next post, I will delve into the mindset of a binge eater, versus the mindset of a healthy eater.  I believe there are way too many assumptions and stigmas that hold the obese population of America back.  Some of them are put on us by the skinnies, but - let's be real - some of them are put on us by our worst enemy: ourselves.

On a lighter note, despite the crazy weekend and a binging episode that totally knocked my feet out from under me, I am somehow DOWN almost 4 lbs!  That means in 3 weeks, I've lost 9 lbs.  I credit the lack of freedom from Mountain Dews, and drinking about 100 ounces of water each day.

What small changes have you made this week to help you reach your goal?

Writing the Vision

We've had a VERY busy and trying weekend but this week is starting off to a good start.  Last weekend we were out of town for our friend's funeral, and I'm pretty sure I gained back at least 3 lbs from the "bad" choices I made.

Remember me talking about planning things and how well I do when I plan things out?  Well, I didn't plan for the restaurants we went to and when I was trying figure out what I was going to eat there, I wound up getting flustered (I HATE being the last person not knowing what to get), not to mention my emotional state was a bit raw... so I sort of defaulted to what the old Tab would have ordered.

So I consumed more calories than what I should have on Friday and Saturday, and probably Sunday too, since we went with my sis and her bambinos to their favorite country buffet.  (I did eat mostly veggies, but you know southern cooking can add on the calories without you even knowing it! LOL)

In spite of that, I'm NOT throwing in the towel.  I had my depressed moments about it, believe me, but I have to be careful not to let myself stay in that place.  I can't afford to go under again. I've GOT to keep my head above water, even when it seems I'm too weak to keep on.

I decided that for today's post, I'm going to remind myself of why I'm doing this - getting healthier and doing so in such a public, uber-accountable fashion.

1.  I will be a runner...and I will call myself a RUNNER.  I've walked/jogged a few times, but I'm ready to be running some 5ks!
2.  I will be able to take my son on vacation and not be concerned about weight limits, fitting in seats or standing/walking for long periods of time.
3.  I will shop at a place that does not carry plus-sized clothes.
4.  I will not worry about developing diabetes and heart conditions due to my sedentary lifestyle because I do not have a sedentary lifestyle any longer.
5.  I will not be ashamed for being the biggest mom in whatever room I walk into.
6.  I will help others realize their potential in becoming the healthiest person they can be, too!
7.  I will look back and realize that I AM STRONG ENOUGH to do what God has called me to do; and to change what God wants me to change!

What are your goals or motivation points?  Write them out!!!

Every Step

Found this online and it really struck a chord with me.  Hope it blesses someone else too!

More Questions Than Answers

Sometimes you just have no words, you know?  This week started out normal.  Monday was...a Monday.  Getting used to those.

Tuesday morning we woke up to the news that one of our dearest brothers in Christ passed away without much warning at all.  He had just talked to the hubster last week, asking for us to pray for one of his daughters.  He was always thinking of others, and really was the epitome of a hard worker.  I can still hear him calling out to Col at church, "Boy, you better get over here and give me a hug!"  Ten years ago, when we moved back to Georgia, John and his bride took us out for our first dinner in Savannah and showed us such love...we bonded almost immediately with them and really they became an extension of our family in the years we served in Savannah.

We are heading for his memorial service tomorrow and I'm just not sure I'm ready to say goodbye to someone who brought so much joy to so many people.  This is definitely one of those times when I just don't have the answers.  I just don't understand.

I had considered keeping all of this out of my blog, but have decided to include it because this week has helped me to learn some things about myself.  I'm becoming my own behavioral study.  Let's face it:  I did not get this size by only eating 1 serving size at only 3 meals a day.  I am an emotional, binge eater.  I need to find out what my triggers are, so that I can prepare myself for living a FIT life.  Not a "morbidly obese" life.

Now, those are some strong words.  I have not labeled myself in that way before.  At least, not out in the open.  I. DO. NOT. LIKE. ADMITTING. MY. FLAWS. And I definitely see this as a flaw.

Here's what Mayo Clinic says about binge eating:

Binge-eating disorder is a serious eating disorder in which you frequently consume unusually large amounts of food. Almost everyone overeats on occasion, such as having seconds or thirds of a holiday meal. But for some people, overeating crosses the line to binge-eating disorder and it becomes a regular occurrence, usually done in secret.

When you have binge-eating disorder, you may be deeply embarrassed about gorging and vow to stop. But you feel such a compulsion that you can't resist the urges and continue binge eating.

This is a truly humbling experience to put all this out there like this.  I'm a closet binge-eater.  When people are around, I make healthy choices (like at work), but when it's just me, I might stop and get WAY too much snack food and eat it all before I get home, hide the wrappers so the hubster doesn't see how much I ate.  Then when I get home have dinner.  Way too many calories, and they're empty calories at that..

So what causes me to binge eat?  To stuff myself till I'm miserable - so frequently that there's no way I could EVER burn off all those calories.  To KNOW that what I'm doing is unhealthy, but switch off my mind so that I can mindlessly consume thousands of calories more than I need?

Well, that's an intensely personal question, and maybe one day you'll know, but suffice it to say, I'm working through that.

I think that's why I have such a peace (to put it church-y) that this time is different.  I've tried so many times to lose weight, and some times were more successful than others - but none were lasting.  So, I've been asking myself these last few weeks, "What am I going to do to make sure this time doesn't turn out like all the others?"

One of the first steps to to live like I'm already fit.  Making those decisions NOW instead of waiting till I'm healthy.  I think a lot of times people feel like if they could just lose the weight, they'll magically start wanting only healthy foods and habits, but I've come to realize that doing so is just a recipe for disaster.

But the most important step, in my opinion, is to figure out why you do what you don't want to do (i.e. overeat/binge eat) and what triggers we can avoid to make those healthier decisions easier to make.

So I made some unhealthy choices in my food after work this week.  I'm telling you, at work -- no problem!  I only eat what I bring to work.  I can't just run to the drive through for something different, so I'm "stuck" with what I bring.  And I only bring healthy stuff.

After work is a different story.  If we have it planned to have a healthy dinner at home - and we have what we need to cook that dinner - then I'm good to go.  It's when we go out and have to make decisions on the fly that I wind up choosing something high-calorie, because it's my "last dinner" at this place and the "next time" I'll be healthier.

So I've learned that about myself.  That I need to always plan ahead - even if we are going out to eat.  Thankfully, SparkPeople.com makes looking up estimated calories easy, so we definitely used that this week!

And another thing that I've known for a while that I'm finally putting into practice these last few weeks is doing away with the "all or nothing" attitude when it comes to food choices  Many times in the past, if I had a high-calorie meal (say, a country fried steak dinner at Cracker Barrel), I'd beat myself up about it and wind up making poor choices the rest of the week because "I already messed it up - might as well start again on Monday..."

This time, I'm absolutely living by the 80% rule -- it's what you do 80% of the time that matters in the long run (at least where my diet and fitness is concerned.).  Yes, I made a poor choice at dinner the other night, but when I got home, I was totally ready to "begin again" and kept making healthier choices for my food the rest of the time.  (As opposed to feeling guilty about it and then drowning my guilt in a double- or triple-portion of high-calorie ice cream, maybe even with some Mountain Dew to wash it down - LOL)

So, the take home from this week is a two-part.  1) Understand what influences your poor decisions; and 2) If you make a poor decision, get up and keep going!  Don't keep wallowing where you are - you just get dirtier and stinkier and fatter, and no one (especially you) will like that.

By the way, this week the scale showed I lost an even 2 pounds!  I'll take it!

Keep going!

4 more, more, more!

How has your week been? Have you made any changes for the good?

I've had a crazy week...but then I should be used to that by now. LOL

I've done pretty good at staying within my calorie range, except for a couple days over the weekend.  Visits with friends and a sick day will mess with your thinking when it comes to making good decisions on calorie intake, but all in all it's been good.  I've been able to drink a ton of water pretty much every day and haven't had a Mountain Dew since Sunday, I think.  Y'all know....that's like a year in Mountain-Dew-Addiction time.  Yay, me!

So I've committed to drinking four 20-ounce bottles of water per day.  For someone who likes soda so much, I find it interesting that I can't stand flavored water.  I've tried several types - from those I.C.E. flavored water, to the drops you put in your own water - and I would just rather drink plain old, cold water.  Weird, right?  At least I don't have to worry about hidden calories in flavored water, I guess!

I've learned that if I can drink a 20-ounce bottle of water by the time I get to work, then I can have a cup of coffee at work and finish the day strong with my other 3 bottles of water by the time I go home.

Side note: I tried just drinking tap water in a reusable cup instead of using all those bottles of water, but our tap water at work has been tasting wonky, and no one likes to drink nasty tasting water.  So Sam's Choice 20-ounce waters it is.

I had very seriously considered staying off the scale for several weeks before I weight myself again.  I know of several people with my amount of weight to lose who wound up being very bound by their dependency on the scale - one of my favorite podcast leaders would weigh herself in up to 5 times a day!!  I definitely don't want to switch one form of bondage for another, so I'm trying to keep things in perspective.

Having said all that, I did jump on the scale yesterday before I left work just to see where I was standing.  Mind you, this was an AFTERNOON weigh-in.  Normally I weigh in right as soon as possible after getting ready for the day, before I even eat or drink anything.  But yesterday was a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing.

Well, I've lost 4 lbs in a week!  (technically 8 days)

And, yes, I've done this enough times to know it's the "water weight" we've all heard of and the weeks from here on out may not have numbers that high.  I'm OK with that.  For one thing, I can't lose the fat weight till I get the bloat off...but for another, I'm more interested in my weight loss number after several weeks.

I want to look at the weekly weigh in as a scale to measure my success in creating a more active lifestyle for that week...sort of just making sure I'm steering myself in the right direction.  If I get too bogged down worrying about whether the scale is going to show another 4 lb loss or not, I won't ENJOY the daily efforts I'm putting in to change my long-term health.  Does that make sense?

Looking back, here are somethings I know I did right:
*drinking LOTS of water
*cutting WAY back on my Mountain Dews
*scaling back my late night snacking
*went to eat at Applebee's Sunday with our friends and chose a VERY HEALTHY and SOOOOO YUMMY meal that came in at under 500 calories!

And things I'd like to work on this week:
*Being more active after work
*keeping my night snacking in check

Speaking of being more active, we went biking as a family tonight - 1.23 miles.  It was only about 10 minutes, but I think nearly every one of those minutes was uphill!!  We all enjoyed it though.  I was so please that my hubby enjoyed it, too.  I had chosen a shorter route, because I didn't know if he'd be good with pushing as much as I wanted to, but he surprised me and suggested the route we took!  Yay, Hubster! Of course our son was loving every minute of it and wanted to do more.  Love it!

Before I sign off, I wanted to show you something I found that I WILL be trying soon!!

These are 911 Emergency Chocolate Cookies!  (follow the link for the recipe)  The description says the taste like corner brownies, are 102 calories per serving and since they are cookies, portion control is almost built in!  I do have my Ziploc Snack bags on hand though. ;-)  Can't wait to try it.  We all need some chocolate in our diets, right?

Let me know what worked for you this week!  (and if you try those cookies, share those too!)

Welcome back, world!

Well, hello there!  It's been a while, hasn't it!?!?  I kind of feel like I should write pages of updates on all the changes and updates that have happened in my little family's lives, but that would take up way too much time on my end and yours!

I admit it, I fell off the wagon.  A few times.  Got REALLY distracted by life and stress and really just took my focus off my mission of living like I'm fit.

But.... After our move last year to Ochlocknee (yes, that's the name of our town), God absolutely placed me in a job where nearly every person there is a fitness freak enthusiast, so I've had some majorly positive peer pressure going on at work.  In fact, the truth is I was and am more than a little intimidated at their level of fitness - and their dedication to it.  So I'd make some good choices while I'm at work -- like bringing my Healthy Choice lunches, etc.  -- but for the most part, it wasn't a full-time commitment.

At the beginning of this year, we all took part in "Team Lean" which is a weight-loss contest our area does each year.  I was so excited about it that I actually coordinated one at our church (Our church is The Bridge Church of God, so our contest at the church was fittingly called "BRIDGEST Loser"...cute, right?).  Well in about 12-ish weeks, I lost a bit over 15 pounds!  Had a great time doing it too!  Even at my morbidly obese weight, I actually started RUNNING and even walk/jogged a 5K in my hometown in honor of my dad, who became a lung cancer survivor this year!

Then I became less focused since the contests were over (by the way, I got 3rd place at work!).  Drinking the Mountain Dews again (that part-- the Mountain Dew Struggle--  hasn't changed in the 3 years of having this blog)...not exercising as much...being a LOT more indulgent with my food choices.

To say I fell off the wagon doesn't quite cover it.

I JUMPED OFF THAT WAGON!

Then, last week I stepped back on the scale again for the first time since the weight loss competition ended...and realized that not only did I gain those 15 lbs back...I added another 5 lbs just to even out the equation!  I was SOOOOOOOO disgusted.  Disappointed.  Depressed.

After wallowing for a while, I just had to come to conclusion that I HAVE to be in control of this day in and day out.

I've dieted off again and on-again for years now.  I know nearly everything there is to know about the science of weight loss, some of the psychology of weight loss and have tried (and sometimes succeeded with)  several different  methods of weight loss in my adult life.

Now it's time to stop the dieting and start living like I'm fit.  Like I said I would when I first started this blog.

I've learned I am definitely one of those people that has to have my inspiration and motivation in my face, day in and day out.  So I will be updating my blog a LOT more often, and I've got a few tricks up my sleeve I'll be telling you about as I journey along.

So, to keep me accountable, let me close by encouraging you to find me on sparkpeople.com - my username is fit4tab.  Also, can I ask you to post comments - even questions - on my blog posts?  And when you read, share my posts to get others to read?

Basically, I need you --- my unknown audience --- to put my story out there as it is being built.  Because I've also learned that I am someone who will do something quicker if I know someone else is counting on it.

Thanks for visiting!  Y'all come back, now!