Taking the BAD with the GOOD

Guess what!  We celebrated our SIXTEENTH anniversary weekend.  Kind of crazy, right?  When we got married there were people saying we wouldn't make it 3 months, so I think making it 16 years is pretty good.  And we are so going to enjoy the next 16 years, too! :-)

So today was probably the first time since I started living like I'm fit that my stress and depression took such a front row seat that I TOTALLY acted out with my food decisions.  Some plans I made - BIG plans - fell through and it absolutely crushed me.  So bad, in fact, that I went and had not one, but TWO pieces of birthday cake!

Sometimes things happen and you just get to the point where you're like, "I don't care - whatever - just give me the______________" (fill in the blank with chocolate, cake, ice cream, chips...whatever your go-to food item is).

One of the things I've read and tried my best to implement is the advice I got from one of my favorite podcasts, Half Size Me.  The host, Heather, recommends that when you feel a binge coming on (and let's be real --- that was a binge for me even if I didn't take the whole cake at one time), to say to yourself, "This is not going to help me reach my end goal."

My end goal, of course is to lose weight and get healthier.  And honestly, I think I thought about that little phrase, but I just didn't care.  I was in full-blown pity party mode.

So far into that party mode, that when I came home, I had full intentions of putting my jammies on (which I did) and staying in bed the rest of the day.  

But then I remembered my end goal.  And I remembered those two pieces of cake I'd had today.  And I remembered that I could still burn some calories, even if I did 'mess up' earlier.

So the happy ending is, I did my T25 cardio workout - nearly puked again - and feel a little less guilty about my actions today. (Side note:  just for the record, I'm less concerned about the fact that I had birthday cake, and WAY MORE concerned about WHY I had birthday cake.  It was a completely emotional decision.  Not an "I want cake" decision, but more of a "I want to drown my sorrows in this yummy sugary icing" decision.)

But here's the thing.  I'm totally aware that there will be (honestly, there have already been) days where I'm just not going to have the time or the get-up-and-go to correct something that I messed up on earlier.  There may be days that I just cave and become the unfit Tabatha I was a few months ago.

The question then becomes "Can I recover from that point?"

Today---right now, I feel confident that I could.  So maybe that will help with the next time.  Since we're still human, still stuck here on planet earth, I'm pretty sure this won't be the last time.

So now I have to ask myself if it's enough to know I'm not going to do this thing - this living fit - perfectly and just do what I can, when I can?  It's so hard to put up with imperfection coming from myself.  But I guess that's part of this journey...accepting the good and the bad and doing the best I can with both.

Was I crazy? - First A.M. workout with my man!

Well, we finally did it!  We got up at about 5:15 this morning and worked out togethe!.  Working out with my husband is a great experience.  We're close enough that we can be honest with each other, but we also look out for each other too.

Our morning workouts (thanks to a good friend who blessed us with this program) will actually consist of the T25 program.



For those of you familiar with Shaun T or the beachbody family of products, T25 is a shortened, more "focused" version of Insanity.  The great thing is it has a modifier for every move, so for people like me and the hubster, we can still keep up even though we're not bouncing and moving around like Shaun T.  We'll eventually be able to do the regular moves and the results will speak for themselves in the coming weeks.

Jerry's actually pretty excited about it - I haven't really seen him excited about exercising before.  To be fair, though, while cardio is my thing, he HATES cardio --he'd much rather weight train.  So of course he wasn't excited about exercising in the last few months - all I suggested was cardio, LOL!  But he's excited, which makes me even more excited!

We got up this morning and dragged ourselves into the living room to do the first work out: Alpha: Cardio.  Within the first 30 seconds , we were both "feeling it" in our hips and legs!  We pressed on through it, and at about 13-minutes in, didn't think we'd make it.  At about 23 minutes in, I thought I was going to vomit, but I guess since I didn't have breakfast yet, I would up being OK.  Jerry had do some deep breathing, too - but we made it!!  We finished it!!  I wouldn't say we nailed it, but bless God we finished it!!

I've been feeling good pretty much all day from it.  The hips and legs (and for some reason my right knee) are definitely feeling it as the day/night wears on, but we will be getting up again tomorrow to do Alpha: Speed.

It's a very interesting thing to work out with a buddy, though.  I've definitely got a little bit of a competitive streak in me, so I wind up pushing myself, but Jerry and I know each other well enough that we're looking out for each other too.  We were constantly telling each other, "watch your hip on that move" or "make sure your feet are facing forward when you go down"....just so we don't get hurt.  Or maybe so that we don't have to take care of each other if we do get hurt! - LOL

We did take some "before" pics last night, but of course those are going to stay hidden away until they can be compared to our AWESOME "after" pics ...coming in a few months.

Make it an awesome week, friends!

Made for Walkin' and some fave Apps!

Happy Thursday, everybody!

Today was a very emotional day for me - I was stressed to the max, and had planned on going walking before eating lunch.  My office is very supportive of us making fitness a priority, so I can go on a walk (or run, eventually) and come back and work a bit in the office in my work out clothes & "dry off" before putting my office clothes back on.  SUPER good thing, if you ask me.

Anyway, my "lunch time" got pushed back more than an hour, so by the time I got to go walking it was hot as Hades out there and I was mad as a hornet because *my* plans didn't go how I thought they should.  (You know how that is, right?)

But I still got out there and worked it.  This was my first walk-at-work time since probably April or May, and my first time walking on pavement without the family in a while.  If it's just me, my pace tends to be quicker than when I have my dear hubster and my 10-year-old with me.

So here's what myfitnesspal.com says about my workout:

So, 3 more minutes and I would have hit my daily work out goal of 30 minutes, but I'm not too worried about 3 stinkin' minutes!  According to this app, I rocked out my daily calories burned target, but I realize that's just an estimate.

Another app I used, mapmywalk, estimated my calories burned at around 250-something.  This is when I'd REALLY love to have either a fitbit or Jawbone UP to have a better estimate of my calories burned.  We all know that weight loss means you burn more calories and eat less calories, and I'm geeky enough to want an accurate read-out of all that data all the time! :-)

I've found out I'm a bit of an app junkie, though, when it comes to fitness apps. LOL - Here's a quick run-down of what's on my phone right now

sparkpeople (I'm thinking about making the switch, thought, to myfitnesspal.  Basically trying to find out which one I like better as far as inputting info and finding friends/support..  BTW, my username for sparkpeople is fit4tab if you want to find me!)

myfitnesspal (username: tabrewis if you want to find me)

endomondo (supposedly this fitness tracker will track treadmill workouts better than the others - I've only used it twice for treadmill workouts.  Once it did great & the other time didn't track well at all - which may have been user error, so the jury is still out on this one.)

C25K (Couch to 5K - love this!! It will supposedly integrate seamlessly with myfitnesspal for tracking, so I'll let you know if it's as good as they say.)

Runtastic (I used this quite a bit earlier this year when I was much farther along my Couch 2 5k journey.  I'm still making up the ground I lost now.)

MapMyWalk (I downloaded this just recently since I feel sort of like an imposter using Runtastic if I'm only walking at this point - LOL)

Half Size Me Weight Loss Coach (this is the app inspired by my favorite podcast.  I've just downloaded it, but you can set your own goals and it will keep your reminded of them when the going gets tough.  There's lots of audio encouragements and quotes that will keep you motivated to make the right decisions, whether you're dealing with a potential binge coming on, or dealing with grief and trying not to use things that happen to you as an excuse to eat poorly. It is NOT free, but at only about $2.99, I think it's worth it.  Oh - you can also set up "rewards" for yourself (like a mani/pedi or whatever makes you happy) for meeting goals.  Pretty cool)

Well, here's hoping our Friday is a LOT better than the rest of this week has been.  Both my dad and my grandmother are in the hospital tonight (just a few doors down from each other), so please say prayers for both of them and for our family.

A Quick Motivation Quote List

Whew, what a weekend! After a backache, and 3-day migraine, more trips to the chiropractor and getting to see most of our family over the weekend, I am pooped!  We've not started doing the morning work outs yet, since exercising with a backache and migraine is NOT my idea of fun...but I'm going to do that tomorrow morning, since my headache is gone, praise God!

Since I've been sitting a lot the last few days, I've had plenty of time to think about why I want my life to be different.  I've outlined a few of my motivation points, but today I thought I'd make a list of my favorite quotes to help me keep the focus when the going gets tough (as it's been the last few days).  Hope you enjoy too!  And feel free to share some of your favorite quotes in the comments!

"No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody on the couch."





"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you're doomed if you don't try."






"I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me (HIS) strength." Phil 4:13






Make it a great week, y'all!

Big Announcement- 1st Month Weigh In Results

So, I wasn't going to weigh in today-- I've hurt my back and had to go to the chiropractor and basically have been feeling sorry for myself. But just for the heck of it, I weighed in-- midday, which is a big no-no!  And the results are.....

I LOST EXACTLY TEN POUNDS IN THIS LAST MONTH!  Considering the birthday parties this week, I think that is monumental! 

It had to have been mostly due to the fact that I'm drinking soo much water instead of soda, and the fact that I've seriously curtailed the sweet snacks in favor of protein-rich snacks.  

ANNNNNDDDD, as soon as my back heals, I've talked dear hubster into getting up with me each morning to work out.  I need him to hold me accountable for getting my morning work out in, so for a trade-off, if he does my morning work out with me, I will do whatever evening work out he wants to do - with no complaining!  LOL - He loves biking, but it's one of my least favorite things to do (my balance isn't the best).  But I can trade off a little biking or tennis for some yoga or bootcamp in the morning! :-) 

Woot woot! Thank you, Jesus! :-)

What NOT to Say

(**Disclaimer: This post was incredibly fun &  liberating to write.  My husband said it's "in your face" writing. LOL  --The more I wrote, the more came out.  It's definitely more abrupt than I usually go with, but, hey,  it's what I've got today.)

I've been down this road a few times and if I have to hear some well-meaning (usually incredibly skinny) woman look at me (usually with her perky head tilted, and a fake smile lighting up her botoxed face) and give me anymore unsolicited diet advice, I might just scream!  Or cry.

OK, OK! I'm a lot more vocal here in the safety of this blog, so I probably would just stew about it a while. Silently.  And probably give myself a headache from the stewing... LOL

We've all probably been there.  So for our skinny friends and family, I have put together a "no-no" list so to help them know what NOT to say to ANY overweight person, much less someone who is working hard at shedding the pounds.

1. "Have you tried not eating as much?"  Ummmm. Yes.  Have you tried not breathing as much? Seems extreme (and admittedly more than a little bitter - LOL) but to someone who OBVIOUSLY has a problem controlling their food intake, do you really think there hasn't been times that we HAVEN'T tried to control our urges better?  I don't want to go off on a tangent here, but I can tell you from experience: When someone has a food addiction or eating disorder like binge eating, it takes a LOT more effort to lose weight than just eating less.  You see, my body and mind has gotten used to having emotional triggers tell me when to eat and how much to eat.  Your body can tell you when to stop eating, but I have shoved that part of me down for so many years that I'm still trying to find that part!  I didn't realize how far I had gone until one day I realized that the meal I had just sat down and ate was more than most MEN would eat - and I was still wanting more!  That's what I'm having to deal with.  Not just putting less food on my plate.  I'm having to learn how to eat, and when to eat, and what to eat.  So let's not over-simplify this to make you feel better, hmmm?

2.  "You're on a diet? Me too!  I just feel so fat ... I've got to get this five/ten pounds off me so I can get back to my goal weight!"   5 pounds, huh? So that'll put you at what, 120?  Coincidentally, that's amount of weight I'm trying to lose, myself!  I'm trying to lose one of you!  Seriously, I get that everyone has a battle, but I've got about 20 times more battle than that.  I naturally compare myself to others (and I know I'm not the only one!!), so when I look at your five pounds you *have* to lose, all I see is that my amount is WAY more than yours, and in my mind WAY harder to achieve, giving me WAY more chances to fail.  Does that make sense?  Probably not, but that's what goes through my mind.  Especially when someone with only 5 lbs to lose complains about being fat to the fat girl.  Seriously?

3.  "You should try the XYZ diet!  My boyfriend's mom's sister's baby-daddy's cousin did that and lost like 40 pounds in 6 weeks!"  Wow, that's awesome!  How much did they lose after the 6 weeks?  How much did they keep off?  Like I said, I've been down this road enough to know fad diets work for a time but they fail in the long run.  I don't have time to waste anymore.  I appreciate the offer, but I've got to stick with what works - burning more calories than I take in.  But give your boyfriend's mom's...friend... all the best from me, 'K?

4.  "You're doing so good losing that weight!  Come here and eat some of this deep-fried comfort food with a triple-side of this sugary dessert!"  Oh, my word!  This, my friend, is what you call an enabler.  LOL  For the most part, I believe they truly want you to succeed, but the only way they know to support you is to do what you have always done with them - eat together.  And eat A LOT together.  Really, if you feel the urge to say anything like this to someone trying to lose any amount of weight, please just keep it simple.  Don't offer to reward me for doing well. (Unless it's cash.  Rewarding in cash is ALWAYS acceptable.)  Just let me know that you're proud of me.  That's really all I need anyway.