My First Race Recap

Saturday morning I did something a little crazy!  Some would say *a lot* crazy.  I did the Rose City Run 10k!!

What in the world?!  I'm still classified as "morbidly obese."  I can't run a mile straight.  I certainly don't look like a runner.  

But I did it.  All 6.2 miles.  I had trained in the weeks prior (not near as long as I probably should have, honestly.)  And I'd done 5 miles by myself a couple weeks ago, in preparation for the big day.  

So my plan was to keep up a steady pace throughout the entire race - I've heard the horror stories, where runners hit it hard to start with, and wind up struggling at the end.  

I downloaded an interval app that would make different noises when I needed to run, and again when I needed to walk.  Because can't run a lot on my own, I have to do it in intervals.  So I set the app for running for 1 minute, walking for two.  So that's my version of running.  Hey, don't knock it.  It's better than the couch.  

So the morning of the race, I was freaking out.  I mean, seriously. Freaking. Out.  FIGHTING to keep from having a panic attack.  Seriously.

Physically, I knew I could make it.  But there were several mental hurdles I was trying to get over.  

I didn't want to be last. (I'd looked up the past 2 years's finish times and the last person came in both years at 1:40, so I knew that was the time to beat.) I didn't want people looking at me and feeling pity for me because, "bless her heart, she's trying".  I didn't want to have the police car following me. I didn't want to have the medic cart pacing with me, probably thinking I was going to fall out. 

So when we arrived at the start line, we gathered with my coworkers and took the "before" pic.  My company is super supportive of any fitness endeavors, so we always try to represent them well.  I was seriously so nervous, I was having to concentrate on not breaking down.  Like, I could have boo-hoo cried or just thrown up all over everyone there. But I knew I couldn't give up now - we hadn't even started yet!

So we're lined up at the starting line.  I could barely hear the announcements and such, but I did notice that it didn't seem like people were lining up according to their projected pace.  The last 5k I did (a year ago), they had the runners group themselves at the starting line so that the faster ones were at the front, and the slower ones at the back.  I'm guessing that keeps down the traffic jams and possible injuries. 

But that didn't seem to be a problem here.  In a way, time seemed to crawl by while the coordinator was talking before starting the race, but before I knew it we were off!  I didn't want to start out running -- I had been just standing there with no warm-up and I do not want to deal with any plantar fasciitis mess again.  So I walked for the first minute or two, then started jogging until the next whistle in my earphones told me it was time to walk.  

Our course started on the beautiful bricked-roads of downtown Thomasville.  I hardly ever get to enjoy the downtown area, so it was kind of nice being in that environment.  I was just worried I'd step wrong or trip over a brick, so I kept my eyes down most of the time.  (Do other runners think about that?  Or just me?) I did not want to be spilling it at all, much less at the start of the race!  

All my coworkers are way more fit than me, so they were long gone at the start.  I honestly thought I was doing pretty good - and I was able to keep one of my coworkers in sight the entire race, and she's a lot smaller than me, so I was feeling pretty good.  I noticed about the second mile marker that there was a lot less people passing me -- but that was mainly because there was less people behind me left TO pass me.  

And of course, at this point, it starts raining.  RAINING. Do you know, I REALLY dislike rain.  I know, I know it's necessary.  But I don't like it.  So I prayed - "God, I can't handle this right now."  And --- no lie -- it stopped!  

Despite that God-wink, I started getting pretty down, but I kept reminding myself to keep going.  And several times I had to physically FORCE my feet to move quicker.  My thing is I'll run and feel good running, but I get tired so quickly.  I've worked up to a much better place than when I started, but about halfway through I couldn't keep running for the full minute, so I ran as long as I could each time it came up. 

Of course, during my recovery periods (2 minutes walking), I tried to keep my pace quick so that I wouldn't lose all the speed by walking too slow.   It was about this time that the last of the young-ish people walking/running passed me.  But I kept going.  

So about half-way through, I came to the realization that the last walk/runners had just passed me (an adorable older couple!).  I tried to use my run periods to overcome them, but I couldn't - I kept sliding back on my recovery periods.  So I just accepted it.  I was now the person the cop car with the blue lights (and, by-the-way --- EXTREMELY squeaky brakes!) was following.  

Between the 3rd and 4th mile, we passed by the local high school band playing fight songs (you know I'm a band geek, right?  I loved it!), and the cheerleaders were there too.  That was extremely thoughtful and appreciated.  But I was in a bad mood from being last --- and trying to breathe normally --- so I probably didn't appreciate it as much as I could have.  

About mile 5 or a little further, not only did I have the cop car following me, but the EMS medic golf cart was pacing with me.  I REALLY wanted to just look at him and say, "Listen, dude.  You're messing with my mojo.  Go somewhere!"  But he was just doing his job.  And he probably thought the chubby girl was going to fall out any minute, so I didn't say anything.  (Not that I could.)

Several times through out the course, we passed by families and spectators sitting in their little chairs cheering us on.  I didn't know any of them, but they were all very much appreciated.  Especially the two cute little boys (probably 3 and 4 years old) around mile 5 that cheered and clapped when they saw me.  They didn't know me from Adam, but they were happy to see me running. LOL

So we're coming upon "Heartbreak Hill".  This hill has quite the reputation, mind you.  It's the last hill before the finish line and apparently the place a lot of people have to stop or slow way down.   I've been able to keep the next person about 20 feet ahead of me - maybe less.  and the next person was about 20-30 feet ahead of him (my coworker).  Well, at Heartbreak Hill, the middle school cheerleaders and some cheerful, peppy adults were there to cheer us up the hill.  Someone was on a bull horn, saying things like "Push it! Push it! Rose City Run 2015! You're almost there!  Keep going!  You're less than a mile to finish! Go! Go! Go!"  That was kind of cool.  

So at the base of the hill I notice one of the adults had gone over to the man in front of me (about 10 feet in front of me now) and was patting him on the back and encouraging him.  Then next thing I know he was coming to me!  I was preparing myself to say thanks, ready for the pats on the back, and all that fuzzy, warm stuff to keep me going.  But then something crazy happened.

That man (I have no idea who he is) grabbed my hand, and said, "Come on, you got this!  Let's go run up that hill!" And he started running with me!  I'm like "o - o - OK". And I just run too.  

So here I am, all sweaty and exhausted and wondering where my next breath is coming from, and I'm running up the hill with this guy who's saying "you got this, you got this!" and I pass the man I'd been trailing for miles, and I get all the way to the top of the hill and finally started walking again.  And by the time I get there, my breathing probably sounded like I was hyperventilating!  But I did it.  And I just kept telling myself I'm not last.  I'm not last.  Don't slow down. Can't be last. Don't slow down.

I felt really good then.  Then just a few feet ahead - still breathing crazy hard, mind you - I nearly get run over by a cop car (I may be slightly exaggerating that part) and hear all this commotion about moving to the side, "here come the runners!"  I'm thinking, are you kidding?  The runners already finished!  But it was the kiddos doing their fun run!

First of all, they were super cute!  And some of them were tough!  But (and this is not a reflection on the kids - they all did great) there were still at least 10 or so 10K runners on the course and we were VERY close to the finish line - I'd say within a half-mile or so.  And we actually started running to get out of their way, but there was a LOT of confusion.  I think about 6 kids ran into my elbows or arms trying to get around me, and when we finally got to the chute, we back-of-the-pack 10Kers were not allowed through the chute.  We had to go around.  So we do not know our official times.  I asked a worker at the chute where we get our time cards and such but she was busy with the fun run kids, so of course she couldn't help me.  

According to my Runtastic app, I finished in 1:37:51.  

Here's my splits:

mile 1: 15:03

mile 2: 15:40

mile 3: 16:18

mile 4: 15:54

mile 5: 15:37

mile 6: 15:17

6.2: 16:56 slower because of having to go around the chute crowd/finish line and not remembering to turn my app off immediately at the line.  

If you're a runner, those probably seem REALLY slow.  But my best, best, best pace was 17:22 as of last week, so I'm pretty stoked with those times! 

My man and my sweet boy cheered me on a couple of times around the course - I found them waiting around mile 2 for me yelling and flashing our "I love you" sign language!   So precious!  

I did wind up getting a blister on my toe - really weird, because I knew not to wear new shoes or socks for a race.  No idea how that happened.  And of course, my legs were super tired and tight and exhausted and S-O-R-E.  But thankfully my Panaway oil helped me to walk mostly normal the rest of the day.  (and Sunday...and today...Love my Panaway oil blend!)

So, that's the (incredibly long) recap of my first 10K.  I can't say I'm looking forward to doing it again anytime soon.  But since this is a once-a-year thing here, I do have an entire year to plan for it and will be quite a bit lighter next time I try it.  

I have a 5k this coming Saturday, so that should be a piece of cake!! :-)  

By the way, I've lost a total of 18 lbs.  Many more to go, but happy for the ones I've lost.

The Deal with Spinning

What would we do if our lives weren't crazy sometimes?  LOL

Last weekend we had an awesome women's conference that our women's group attended.  I have to confess, with everything going on right now with my dad's health and the busy-ness of life, I just did not want to go.  But I'm so very glad I did!  It was just what I needed. Funny how God sets up little things just to encourage you and keep you going.  ;-)

So, as you know, I've been going to lunchtime express classes at our local Y on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.  Tuesdays and Thursdays are usually Spinning at lunch.  It took a lot for me to walk into my first Spinning class.  (And a lot to actually walk afterwards, but that's a different post...)  Now, I really miss it when I'm not able to go.

I really didn't know what to expect when I went to the first Spinning class.  I knew I'd be on a bike.  And sweating.  And I figured there'd be lots of skinny moms in there.  Or skinny college girls.  Or skinny anybodies.

Of course, when I got there, I realized I had assumed some things that were not particularly true.  Like thinking that everyone would be staring at me wondering who I thought I was kidding, trying to spin at the size I am...

Turns out, they were all very welcoming.  A lot of the group from the Lunchtime Express classes come to the lunchtime spin classes, so besides my coworkers, I still saw some familiar (and friendly) faces, so that helped.

So setting up the bike was slightly unnerving.  I kept thinking I was doing something wrong and I'd wind up falling off the bike.  Thankfully that didn't happen.

Here's the bikes (please excuse the pic quality - I'm not a great photog when I'm in motion. LOL)

 

So the most important thing I have learned is to make sure the seat is high enough so that you don't hurt your knees.  For the first few weeks, my seat was lower than it should have been.  I'm 5'6" and I had my seat lower than my instructor's seat -- and she's 5'3" I think.  So once she noticed that and I moved it up, I was in a much better position to really enjoy the class.

I also had to figure out how to get my feet into the straps on those pedals.  I wind up securing my left foot while my right is still on the ground, then I boost myself up to the seat and have to bend over from the seat to hold the straps far enough so that I can get my right foot in that pedal.  I feel like I'm about to fall on my face every time I do that - I mean I'm teetering on this teeny tiny seat!  But I've not fallen yet, and last time I was able just to slip my foot in without bending down to hold the straps.
The way our spin classes are, once the music starts, the lights go down and all you have are blacklights up top and rope lights around the floor.  We can still see to move around and such if we need, but it's a really cool effect they offer to kind of keep you focused.

We'll start with a warm up, which usually includes sprints (pedaling REALLY fast) and standing, and stretching your arms/shoulders, and hovering.  Hovering, for some reason, is still really hard for me to do.  That's when you see the cyclist off the seat, but bent over and resting their upper bodies on their upper arms, which are on the handlebars.

The instructor will make sure we have some pumping playlist and she calls out when she wants us to turn the resistance knob (to increase the resistance), when she wants us up, or down, or hovering, or ...(wait for it) ... doing jumps.  

I think jumps just might be a form of torture.  That's where you keep your pace pedaling, pedaling, pedaling and alternate standing and sitting - about every 2-4 pedals.  It's fast.  I can't do it yet.  My jumps are more like speed bumps. Or just REALLY, REALLY slow jumps.  Like I can get up and get down ONE Time in the time it takes someone else to do 3-4 jumps. But that's better than when I started.  When I started I didn't even attempt the jumps.

So usually by about 1/2-way through, I'm glancing at the clock, trying to count down the minutes until the end of the class.  And I've learned I had to really keep my heart rate in check.  In that class it's so easy to go, go, go and just keep going.  It is fun, even though sometimes I feel like I'm going to die. (Kidding!!) But if I let my heart rate get too high and stay too high, I wind up having a killer migraine by the time I get home.  So I have to back off a bit on the last half of the class.

By the time we leave, I get off that bike -- carefully, because my legs are like jelly and I REALLY don't want to face plant in front of the skinnies.  I can barely walk to the disposable wipes to wipe down my bike. There's sweat literally rolling down my back, dripping off my hair onto my neck.  My breathing is quick but deep.  And the pride that I feel for finishing another kicking fitness class is bubbling up through all that - making the muscle fatigue and the sticky work out clothes worth it.  I'm telling you, there is nothing like pushing yourself to the point that you think you won't make it, and then keeping on going a little further.  There's nothing like knowing I absolutely did my best.  It may not have been faster or longer than my neighbor's pace, but it was my best so far.  I just feel so accomplished.  So gloriously exhausted and accomplished.

So if you're thinking about trying something new - do it!  Don't let your preconceived notions about other people keep you from doing what YOU want to do.  Think about it - I spent most of my time before this class (and most any other time going to work out) judging the people who were going to be there because I thought they were going to judge me.  I started judging them first! LOL

Well, thank God some co-workers talked me into going that first time.  It was well worth it.

Now, for an update.  I've lost 10 pounds!  That seems such a small amount to me still (my weight loss journey began 1/12/15, so 10 lbs in 2 months doesn't seem like much for a woman like me), BUT I know I've lost inches.  Check out the difference in my face (stepping WAAAAAY outside my comfort zone now!).  The first pic is in mid-December with my beautiful prayer daughter K.  The second pic is last weekend with my other precious prayer daughter H.  You can just barely see a difference in my face - not as swollen, I guess.  And clothes are fitting better.  As much fun as it is to embrace this new fit life and enjoy working out as much as I do, I still struggle to keep my focus and not get discouraged when I see those numbers.  So I keep looking for things like this to kind of prove to myself that I am doing something right, I guess.

Here's to small steps -- it may take me a while, but I'll get there!

25 Things - My 2015 Version

In lieu of a long, drawn-out post about my lack of weight loss this week (I think I'm doomed to have have no downward movement once a month), I'm going to do a new 25 things list.  If you're not familiar with this, many bloggers will publish a new 25 things list every so often.  There are really no rules (except the 25 part. Otherwise it'd be called a 24 things list, etc).  It can be thematic or random.  Most of the time, mine is random - mainly because I can't concentrate on one subject long enough to come up with 25 little-known facts to share.

1. Sticking with our new lifestyle has been challenging at times, but overall, it's been easier than I thought.  
2. I am really enjoying exercising at lunch.  Gets me out of the grind and makes my days even better. 
3. Sweating at lunch doesn't bother me as much as I used to think it would.  I'd much rather be sweaty and losing than smell pretty and keep gaining.
4. I've noticed the last few weeks my plantar fasciitis has pretty much gone away!  
5. I used to think that tensing up while I was exercising (running, couch-to-5K, etc) was what caused my after-work-out migraines, but now I believe it was getting my heart rate too high for too long.  The Lunchtime Express class I go to 3x/week has enough varied exercises that I can keep it from going too high for too long, but I really have to watch it in the Spin class I do 2x/week.  
6. My knees sound like maracas when I'm bending, climbing or squatting, and I'm praying that I can somehow reverse the damage by getting this weight off.
7. My Dad has stage 4 lung cancer that has spread to his liver.  We're waiting to hear from his most recent PET scan, but I've never been more scared of losing someone than I've been the last few weeks.
8. I love watching Downton Abbey.  A lot.
9. I am also a bit addicted to Fixer Upper on HGTV.
10. I (thankfully) haven't really WANTED a Mountain Dew in weeks, so that MUST be a major miracle!
11. If I didn't have a job I'd have a much cleaner house and be able to craft a LOT more.  I miss having time to craft, but I'd miss my paycheck more. LOL
12. I can't wait till I can get a heart rate monitor to start using when I'm working out.  
13. I post A LOT of fitness and weight loss related things on instragram so follow me if you don't already. My user name is tabrewis.
14. Also, add me on myfitnesspal.com - again, username is tabrewis.
15. My son is so smart!  He understands that flipping a house means you buy a house, remodel it and then sell it at a profit! How many 11-year-olds get that??  (Probably because his mommy watches so stinkin' much HGTV)
16. I received a great compliment last week about my writing.  
17. I owe any writing greatness to my high school Lit teacher, Mrs. James.  (She taught me for 3 years in Honors Lit.)
18. In another life, I would have been a band director, following after another of my mentors, Ms. Deborah Bradley.
19. My first speeding ticket was earned on my wedding day.  My dad "took care of it" as a wedding present. LOL
20. My husband and I get to go see the Blue Man Group for the first time in a couple weeks!  So excited!
21. I love going to youtube and listening to playlists from WorshipMob.  If you haven't heard of them, you should check them out.
22. My husband has lost 20+ lbs in the same amount of time I struggled to lose 6.  I'm happy for him....really! 
23. One of my absolute favorite things is when we tuck Col in at night and pray with him.  He's growing so fast!
24. I get distracted way too easily.
25. I'm feeling cruise fever again.  You should probably pray.  Or donate $$$ so we can take another cruise soon. LOL

Have a blessed week everyone!

No Longer Hiding

I know the last few months I've been REALLY quiet on my blog.  There was a reason, I promise!

Several months ago, Jerry and I applied for a casting call with a major network for a weight loss show.  (Not the Biggest Loser)  We made it through several cuts and were flown to LA for the final cut - only 16 couples had made it that far and we were so excited!  We just knew that our chance had finally come!  We'd be able to have access to trainers and therapists and nutritionists and FINALLY lose weight and be healthy!

Over those several months, we had to provide a ton of pictures and videos of us.  It was exciting at first, but after about the third time of them requesting even MORE pics, it was growing pretty thin.  "We need some full-body shots of you," they said.   I mean, don't they realize fat people don't like the camera?  That's why I take the pictures - I don't like to be in them!! ;-)

But somehow they still wanted us to come to the finals and meet with some big-wigs so they could find the best couples for their show.  So, of course we had to stay quiet in case we were chosen.

The flights were pretty cool.  It's been a while since I've flown (like 15 years!) and I kept taking pics of EVERYTHING to show our boy when we got back.  (Some great friends were taking care of him while we were gone.  Man, I missed that handsome little trouble-maker!)

Long story short, they did not choose us to be a part of this show.  I believe the words they used were they "decided to go in a different direction".  I was heart-broken.  And when I say heart-broken, I mean faith-shaking, mind-numbing desperation.

You see, in the interviews we had, I'm pretty sure we had two major strikes against us.  One: the producers thought Jerry couldn't live without me for any length of time (putting a kink in the show plans). LOL    And/Or Two:  They didn't think that once I lost the weight I'd be able to keep it off.

How many times have I been down this road, where I start to lose weight, start getting healthier and then just fizzle out?  Slowly returning to bad habits and gaining all my weight back and then some?

How could I go back home knowing that someone who had the power to give me every tool, every support person, every therapy session I'd need to be successful --- that person(s) didn't even believe I was worth the effort, because I'd probably just gain the weight back anyway.

Very few people knew where we were and what we were doing.  But how could I come home and face them, and face my son, and tell them that I/we failed in this most recent attempt to be a normal, healthy family?  I'd proven to myself time and time again that I can't do this on my own.  Why were we brought across the country just to be told we didn't have what it takes....again?

I was beginning to think it would have been better for me to come home in a coffin.

Then I started thinking about the poor guys who'd have to carry the coffin and started crying again because I'd still be a burden dead.

I can honestly say I have never been in as dark a place as I was that weekend.

But the show must go on, right?  I came back to a new job/promotion, so that was a good thing.  And we have a church to lead, and a sweet son to raise, so I kept putting one foot in front of the other.  Left, right, left, right....

We had talked quite a bit before flying out to LA about what we would do if we were chosen, if we were not chosen, etc.  We both agreed that no matter what, this HAS to be the year of change for us.  We joined the Y a couple months before flying out, although we hadn't really made full use of our membership (something one of the producers took great joy in pointing out -- "well, you have to use it, for it to do any good."  That was right before the casting director interrupted me to say, "You're done.  Time to leave."  Joyful banter, no?)

Jerry, I have to say, seemed unshaken.  He was my rock through this.  Always telling me, "we have this.  We know what to do. We have a plan, we just need to work the plan."

And so we have.  Jerry was fully on-board with making a lifestyle change as soon as we got back.  I honestly just went through the motions that first week.  I really didn't want to disappoint Jerry again, so I just kept going to the Y with my coworkers and ditched Mountain Dews (no Mountain Dews for me since 1/11/15!) and choosing better meals.

Since that first week, my mindset has done a complete 180!  Praise God, because that depression mess is exhausting!

Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I go to Lunchtime Express Class (full-body work out during your lunch break) and recently have added Spinning on Tuesdays and Thursdays.   Once I figured out my calorie intake needs (I wasn't eating enough for all the exercising, can you believe it?), I've been losing an average of 2-3 lbs per week.  Which is what we want to do.

Jerry goes to the Y every morning to work out alone.  He says the "social work-out" is my thing, not his.  LOL

The best thing is this plan that we're on seems totally doable for the rest of...forever.  We're cooking more at home (saving the $$$, PTL!) and enjoying a healthy lifestyle.  Another thing that makes this feel so different and still so successful is that we (I) don't completely melt down if I eat too much or don't have my "healthy" lunch or dinner.  Because I know that the next meal will be back to our new normal.

So that's where I've been.  It's not something every pastor's wife might admit, but I'm not every pastor's wife.  I'm learning not to hide my faults as much.  It's exhausting to do that.

What have you been hiding that holds you back?  Talk to me!

PS>> For those who use myfitnesspal.com for tracking food and calories, look me up! My username is tabrewis.  Find my workout posts on Instragram under the same username (tabrewis).