I've been down this road a few times and if I have to hear some well-meaning (usually incredibly skinny) woman look at me (usually with her perky head tilted, and a fake smile lighting up her botoxed face) and give me anymore unsolicited diet advice, I might just scream! Or cry.
OK, OK! I'm a lot more vocal here in the safety of this blog, so I probably would just stew about it a while. Silently. And probably give myself a headache from the stewing... LOL
We've all probably been there. So for our skinny friends and family, I have put together a "no-no" list so to help them know what NOT to say to ANY overweight person, much less someone who is working hard at shedding the pounds.
1. "Have you tried not eating as much?" Ummmm. Yes. Have you tried not breathing as much? Seems extreme (and admittedly more than a little bitter - LOL) but to someone who OBVIOUSLY has a problem controlling their food intake, do you really think there hasn't been times that we HAVEN'T tried to control our urges better? I don't want to go off on a tangent here, but I can tell you from experience: When someone has a food addiction or eating disorder like binge eating, it takes a LOT more effort to lose weight than just eating less. You see, my body and mind has gotten used to having emotional triggers tell me when to eat and how much to eat. Your body can tell you when to stop eating, but I have shoved that part of me down for so many years that I'm still trying to find that part! I didn't realize how far I had gone until one day I realized that the meal I had just sat down and ate was more than most MEN would eat - and I was still wanting more! That's what I'm having to deal with. Not just putting less food on my plate. I'm having to learn how to eat, and when to eat, and what to eat. So let's not over-simplify this to make you feel better, hmmm?
2. "You're on a diet? Me too! I just feel so fat ... I've got to get this five/ten pounds off me so I can get back to my goal weight!" 5 pounds, huh? So that'll put you at what, 120? Coincidentally, that's amount of weight I'm trying to lose, myself! I'm trying to lose one of you! Seriously, I get that everyone has a battle, but I've got about 20 times more battle than that. I naturally compare myself to others (and I know I'm not the only one!!), so when I look at your five pounds you *have* to lose, all I see is that my amount is WAY more than yours, and in my mind WAY harder to achieve, giving me WAY more chances to fail. Does that make sense? Probably not, but that's what goes through my mind. Especially when someone with only 5 lbs to lose complains about being fat to the fat girl. Seriously?
3. "You should try the XYZ diet! My boyfriend's mom's sister's baby-daddy's cousin did that and lost like 40 pounds in 6 weeks!" Wow, that's awesome! How much did they lose after the 6 weeks? How much did they keep off? Like I said, I've been down this road enough to know fad diets work for a time but they fail in the long run. I don't have time to waste anymore. I appreciate the offer, but I've got to stick with what works - burning more calories than I take in. But give your boyfriend's mom's...friend... all the best from me, 'K?
4. "You're doing so good losing that weight! Come here and eat some of this deep-fried comfort food with a triple-side of this sugary dessert!" Oh, my word! This, my friend, is what you call an enabler. LOL For the most part, I believe they truly want you to succeed, but the only way they know to support you is to do what you have always done with them - eat together. And eat A LOT together. Really, if you feel the urge to say anything like this to someone trying to lose any amount of weight, please just keep it simple. Don't offer to reward me for doing well. (Unless it's cash. Rewarding in cash is ALWAYS acceptable.) Just let me know that you're proud of me. That's really all I need anyway.
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