Made for Walkin' and some fave Apps!

Happy Thursday, everybody!

Today was a very emotional day for me - I was stressed to the max, and had planned on going walking before eating lunch.  My office is very supportive of us making fitness a priority, so I can go on a walk (or run, eventually) and come back and work a bit in the office in my work out clothes & "dry off" before putting my office clothes back on.  SUPER good thing, if you ask me.

Anyway, my "lunch time" got pushed back more than an hour, so by the time I got to go walking it was hot as Hades out there and I was mad as a hornet because *my* plans didn't go how I thought they should.  (You know how that is, right?)

But I still got out there and worked it.  This was my first walk-at-work time since probably April or May, and my first time walking on pavement without the family in a while.  If it's just me, my pace tends to be quicker than when I have my dear hubster and my 10-year-old with me.

So here's what myfitnesspal.com says about my workout:

So, 3 more minutes and I would have hit my daily work out goal of 30 minutes, but I'm not too worried about 3 stinkin' minutes!  According to this app, I rocked out my daily calories burned target, but I realize that's just an estimate.

Another app I used, mapmywalk, estimated my calories burned at around 250-something.  This is when I'd REALLY love to have either a fitbit or Jawbone UP to have a better estimate of my calories burned.  We all know that weight loss means you burn more calories and eat less calories, and I'm geeky enough to want an accurate read-out of all that data all the time! :-)

I've found out I'm a bit of an app junkie, though, when it comes to fitness apps. LOL - Here's a quick run-down of what's on my phone right now

sparkpeople (I'm thinking about making the switch, thought, to myfitnesspal.  Basically trying to find out which one I like better as far as inputting info and finding friends/support..  BTW, my username for sparkpeople is fit4tab if you want to find me!)

myfitnesspal (username: tabrewis if you want to find me)

endomondo (supposedly this fitness tracker will track treadmill workouts better than the others - I've only used it twice for treadmill workouts.  Once it did great & the other time didn't track well at all - which may have been user error, so the jury is still out on this one.)

C25K (Couch to 5K - love this!! It will supposedly integrate seamlessly with myfitnesspal for tracking, so I'll let you know if it's as good as they say.)

Runtastic (I used this quite a bit earlier this year when I was much farther along my Couch 2 5k journey.  I'm still making up the ground I lost now.)

MapMyWalk (I downloaded this just recently since I feel sort of like an imposter using Runtastic if I'm only walking at this point - LOL)

Half Size Me Weight Loss Coach (this is the app inspired by my favorite podcast.  I've just downloaded it, but you can set your own goals and it will keep your reminded of them when the going gets tough.  There's lots of audio encouragements and quotes that will keep you motivated to make the right decisions, whether you're dealing with a potential binge coming on, or dealing with grief and trying not to use things that happen to you as an excuse to eat poorly. It is NOT free, but at only about $2.99, I think it's worth it.  Oh - you can also set up "rewards" for yourself (like a mani/pedi or whatever makes you happy) for meeting goals.  Pretty cool)

Well, here's hoping our Friday is a LOT better than the rest of this week has been.  Both my dad and my grandmother are in the hospital tonight (just a few doors down from each other), so please say prayers for both of them and for our family.

A Quick Motivation Quote List

Whew, what a weekend! After a backache, and 3-day migraine, more trips to the chiropractor and getting to see most of our family over the weekend, I am pooped!  We've not started doing the morning work outs yet, since exercising with a backache and migraine is NOT my idea of fun...but I'm going to do that tomorrow morning, since my headache is gone, praise God!

Since I've been sitting a lot the last few days, I've had plenty of time to think about why I want my life to be different.  I've outlined a few of my motivation points, but today I thought I'd make a list of my favorite quotes to help me keep the focus when the going gets tough (as it's been the last few days).  Hope you enjoy too!  And feel free to share some of your favorite quotes in the comments!

"No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody on the couch."





"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you're doomed if you don't try."






"I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me (HIS) strength." Phil 4:13






Make it a great week, y'all!

Big Announcement- 1st Month Weigh In Results

So, I wasn't going to weigh in today-- I've hurt my back and had to go to the chiropractor and basically have been feeling sorry for myself. But just for the heck of it, I weighed in-- midday, which is a big no-no!  And the results are.....

I LOST EXACTLY TEN POUNDS IN THIS LAST MONTH!  Considering the birthday parties this week, I think that is monumental! 

It had to have been mostly due to the fact that I'm drinking soo much water instead of soda, and the fact that I've seriously curtailed the sweet snacks in favor of protein-rich snacks.  

ANNNNNDDDD, as soon as my back heals, I've talked dear hubster into getting up with me each morning to work out.  I need him to hold me accountable for getting my morning work out in, so for a trade-off, if he does my morning work out with me, I will do whatever evening work out he wants to do - with no complaining!  LOL - He loves biking, but it's one of my least favorite things to do (my balance isn't the best).  But I can trade off a little biking or tennis for some yoga or bootcamp in the morning! :-) 

Woot woot! Thank you, Jesus! :-)

What NOT to Say

(**Disclaimer: This post was incredibly fun &  liberating to write.  My husband said it's "in your face" writing. LOL  --The more I wrote, the more came out.  It's definitely more abrupt than I usually go with, but, hey,  it's what I've got today.)

I've been down this road a few times and if I have to hear some well-meaning (usually incredibly skinny) woman look at me (usually with her perky head tilted, and a fake smile lighting up her botoxed face) and give me anymore unsolicited diet advice, I might just scream!  Or cry.

OK, OK! I'm a lot more vocal here in the safety of this blog, so I probably would just stew about it a while. Silently.  And probably give myself a headache from the stewing... LOL

We've all probably been there.  So for our skinny friends and family, I have put together a "no-no" list so to help them know what NOT to say to ANY overweight person, much less someone who is working hard at shedding the pounds.

1. "Have you tried not eating as much?"  Ummmm. Yes.  Have you tried not breathing as much? Seems extreme (and admittedly more than a little bitter - LOL) but to someone who OBVIOUSLY has a problem controlling their food intake, do you really think there hasn't been times that we HAVEN'T tried to control our urges better?  I don't want to go off on a tangent here, but I can tell you from experience: When someone has a food addiction or eating disorder like binge eating, it takes a LOT more effort to lose weight than just eating less.  You see, my body and mind has gotten used to having emotional triggers tell me when to eat and how much to eat.  Your body can tell you when to stop eating, but I have shoved that part of me down for so many years that I'm still trying to find that part!  I didn't realize how far I had gone until one day I realized that the meal I had just sat down and ate was more than most MEN would eat - and I was still wanting more!  That's what I'm having to deal with.  Not just putting less food on my plate.  I'm having to learn how to eat, and when to eat, and what to eat.  So let's not over-simplify this to make you feel better, hmmm?

2.  "You're on a diet? Me too!  I just feel so fat ... I've got to get this five/ten pounds off me so I can get back to my goal weight!"   5 pounds, huh? So that'll put you at what, 120?  Coincidentally, that's amount of weight I'm trying to lose, myself!  I'm trying to lose one of you!  Seriously, I get that everyone has a battle, but I've got about 20 times more battle than that.  I naturally compare myself to others (and I know I'm not the only one!!), so when I look at your five pounds you *have* to lose, all I see is that my amount is WAY more than yours, and in my mind WAY harder to achieve, giving me WAY more chances to fail.  Does that make sense?  Probably not, but that's what goes through my mind.  Especially when someone with only 5 lbs to lose complains about being fat to the fat girl.  Seriously?

3.  "You should try the XYZ diet!  My boyfriend's mom's sister's baby-daddy's cousin did that and lost like 40 pounds in 6 weeks!"  Wow, that's awesome!  How much did they lose after the 6 weeks?  How much did they keep off?  Like I said, I've been down this road enough to know fad diets work for a time but they fail in the long run.  I don't have time to waste anymore.  I appreciate the offer, but I've got to stick with what works - burning more calories than I take in.  But give your boyfriend's mom's...friend... all the best from me, 'K?

4.  "You're doing so good losing that weight!  Come here and eat some of this deep-fried comfort food with a triple-side of this sugary dessert!"  Oh, my word!  This, my friend, is what you call an enabler.  LOL  For the most part, I believe they truly want you to succeed, but the only way they know to support you is to do what you have always done with them - eat together.  And eat A LOT together.  Really, if you feel the urge to say anything like this to someone trying to lose any amount of weight, please just keep it simple.  Don't offer to reward me for doing well. (Unless it's cash.  Rewarding in cash is ALWAYS acceptable.)  Just let me know that you're proud of me.  That's really all I need anyway.

Working Through the Label I've Given Myself

I realize I shared A LOT in the last two posts - and was definitely more transparent than I have *EVER* allowed myself to be on this subject.  To be honest, I'm still wondering if I shared too much.  But what's done is done, so we're all stuck with it.

I realize, too, that the main reason I still have a problem with it is due to my need to be seen a certain way.  I have a real problem with how I think other people see me - I've always wanted to be accepted, but it's more than that.  And being a Pastor's wife is part of it - feeling the need to be perfect all the time, etc.  - but I can't blame it all on that.

The thing is, I can let myself get absolutely sick worrying about whether this person thought I wasn't good enough when I did xyz, or that person thought I was being uppity because I was too shy to speak.

So admitting that I have an issue with food - that's one thing (OK, a blind man could tell I have an issue with food).  But telling the world that my issue centers around binge eating makes it REALLY personal and really amps up the vulnerability factor for me.  I mean, who would want to seek advice or even a friendship if their Pastor's wife/women's leader, co-worker, mom, sister, etc. had such a huge problem when it comes to controlling their food intake. And, yes, I also realize that is flawed thinking, but for so long it has been MY thinking, so that's part of what I'm working through.

I know I'm not the only one that feels this way - it just seems that way sometimes! ;-)  That's one of the reasons why I decided to restart this blog and document my journey.  Because I know this journey isn't just a physical one.  And maybe there's someone else out there who feels too vulnerable to put their issue out there like this.  Maybe they can find some peace and help through my story.  Granted, my story is still being written, but I'm OK with that.

I did want to address the whole misconception that fat people just need to eat less or move more to be healthier.  On the surface, that's true.  The formula for successful weight loss is simply to burn more calories than you intake. Sounds easy enough, right?

Of course it is!  .....  If you take out emotions and addictions.  But let me tell you: I haven't figured out how to do that, so here we are stuck again.  Stuck in our stinkin' thinkin'.

For years, I didn't think I had an issue like binge eating.  I just thought I was fat because I like food.  Well, the thing that I'm having to learn is this:

Food is just food!

I may think I love food, but food sure doesn't love me back.  And my "love" for food is simply a false emotion anyway.  There's another emotion under there somewhere that is making me want the comfort or distraction of food so that I don't feel that underlying emotion, whatever it is.  

I used to think it was boredom.  I totally think that's a valid emotion, right? 

Now I've realized for me,  it's definitely stress-induced.  Having a hard day at work means you would see me stopping my the convenient store to get a 20-oz Mountain Dew and a Nanee's (local bakery) fresh apple fritter.  (And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I gained back the weight I lost earlier this year so stinking quick!)

Seriously, if my husband was picking me up from work on those days (usually they were days I'd get a call from an irate customer or days I made a mistake on my paperwork), I'd send him a text that said, "bad day.  need a MD and snack."  And, God love him, my husband would bring me exactly what I asked for.  He really spoils me rotten anyway - I'm not ashamed to admit that! :-)

But now I'm learning to direct my attention elsewhere.  Having this blog as an outlet has definitely helped with that.  But another thing that has helped is actually some advice I got from my favorite podcast, "Half Size Me".  (Check it out - on iTunes or Stitcher radio, or go to halfsizeme.com.)  When a binge eater feels the urge to binge, Heather (the host, who went from 315lbs to 150-ish by learning to have a healthier relationship with food) suggests you say to yourself, "I am choosing to eat these 4 donuts even though this will NOT contribute to my goal of reaching a healthy weight." (or insert whatever your goal is).  

She actually suggests saying it out loud, but I'm not to the talking-to-myself stage yet. :-)

I think this post is getting really long, so next post, I will delve into the mindset of a binge eater, versus the mindset of a healthy eater.  I believe there are way too many assumptions and stigmas that hold the obese population of America back.  Some of them are put on us by the skinnies, but - let's be real - some of them are put on us by our worst enemy: ourselves.

On a lighter note, despite the crazy weekend and a binging episode that totally knocked my feet out from under me, I am somehow DOWN almost 4 lbs!  That means in 3 weeks, I've lost 9 lbs.  I credit the lack of freedom from Mountain Dews, and drinking about 100 ounces of water each day.

What small changes have you made this week to help you reach your goal?

Writing the Vision

We've had a VERY busy and trying weekend but this week is starting off to a good start.  Last weekend we were out of town for our friend's funeral, and I'm pretty sure I gained back at least 3 lbs from the "bad" choices I made.

Remember me talking about planning things and how well I do when I plan things out?  Well, I didn't plan for the restaurants we went to and when I was trying figure out what I was going to eat there, I wound up getting flustered (I HATE being the last person not knowing what to get), not to mention my emotional state was a bit raw... so I sort of defaulted to what the old Tab would have ordered.

So I consumed more calories than what I should have on Friday and Saturday, and probably Sunday too, since we went with my sis and her bambinos to their favorite country buffet.  (I did eat mostly veggies, but you know southern cooking can add on the calories without you even knowing it! LOL)

In spite of that, I'm NOT throwing in the towel.  I had my depressed moments about it, believe me, but I have to be careful not to let myself stay in that place.  I can't afford to go under again. I've GOT to keep my head above water, even when it seems I'm too weak to keep on.

I decided that for today's post, I'm going to remind myself of why I'm doing this - getting healthier and doing so in such a public, uber-accountable fashion.

1.  I will be a runner...and I will call myself a RUNNER.  I've walked/jogged a few times, but I'm ready to be running some 5ks!
2.  I will be able to take my son on vacation and not be concerned about weight limits, fitting in seats or standing/walking for long periods of time.
3.  I will shop at a place that does not carry plus-sized clothes.
4.  I will not worry about developing diabetes and heart conditions due to my sedentary lifestyle because I do not have a sedentary lifestyle any longer.
5.  I will not be ashamed for being the biggest mom in whatever room I walk into.
6.  I will help others realize their potential in becoming the healthiest person they can be, too!
7.  I will look back and realize that I AM STRONG ENOUGH to do what God has called me to do; and to change what God wants me to change!

What are your goals or motivation points?  Write them out!!!

Every Step

Found this online and it really struck a chord with me.  Hope it blesses someone else too!