The Deal with Spinning

What would we do if our lives weren't crazy sometimes?  LOL

Last weekend we had an awesome women's conference that our women's group attended.  I have to confess, with everything going on right now with my dad's health and the busy-ness of life, I just did not want to go.  But I'm so very glad I did!  It was just what I needed. Funny how God sets up little things just to encourage you and keep you going.  ;-)

So, as you know, I've been going to lunchtime express classes at our local Y on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.  Tuesdays and Thursdays are usually Spinning at lunch.  It took a lot for me to walk into my first Spinning class.  (And a lot to actually walk afterwards, but that's a different post...)  Now, I really miss it when I'm not able to go.

I really didn't know what to expect when I went to the first Spinning class.  I knew I'd be on a bike.  And sweating.  And I figured there'd be lots of skinny moms in there.  Or skinny college girls.  Or skinny anybodies.

Of course, when I got there, I realized I had assumed some things that were not particularly true.  Like thinking that everyone would be staring at me wondering who I thought I was kidding, trying to spin at the size I am...

Turns out, they were all very welcoming.  A lot of the group from the Lunchtime Express classes come to the lunchtime spin classes, so besides my coworkers, I still saw some familiar (and friendly) faces, so that helped.

So setting up the bike was slightly unnerving.  I kept thinking I was doing something wrong and I'd wind up falling off the bike.  Thankfully that didn't happen.

Here's the bikes (please excuse the pic quality - I'm not a great photog when I'm in motion. LOL)

 

So the most important thing I have learned is to make sure the seat is high enough so that you don't hurt your knees.  For the first few weeks, my seat was lower than it should have been.  I'm 5'6" and I had my seat lower than my instructor's seat -- and she's 5'3" I think.  So once she noticed that and I moved it up, I was in a much better position to really enjoy the class.

I also had to figure out how to get my feet into the straps on those pedals.  I wind up securing my left foot while my right is still on the ground, then I boost myself up to the seat and have to bend over from the seat to hold the straps far enough so that I can get my right foot in that pedal.  I feel like I'm about to fall on my face every time I do that - I mean I'm teetering on this teeny tiny seat!  But I've not fallen yet, and last time I was able just to slip my foot in without bending down to hold the straps.
The way our spin classes are, once the music starts, the lights go down and all you have are blacklights up top and rope lights around the floor.  We can still see to move around and such if we need, but it's a really cool effect they offer to kind of keep you focused.

We'll start with a warm up, which usually includes sprints (pedaling REALLY fast) and standing, and stretching your arms/shoulders, and hovering.  Hovering, for some reason, is still really hard for me to do.  That's when you see the cyclist off the seat, but bent over and resting their upper bodies on their upper arms, which are on the handlebars.

The instructor will make sure we have some pumping playlist and she calls out when she wants us to turn the resistance knob (to increase the resistance), when she wants us up, or down, or hovering, or ...(wait for it) ... doing jumps.  

I think jumps just might be a form of torture.  That's where you keep your pace pedaling, pedaling, pedaling and alternate standing and sitting - about every 2-4 pedals.  It's fast.  I can't do it yet.  My jumps are more like speed bumps. Or just REALLY, REALLY slow jumps.  Like I can get up and get down ONE Time in the time it takes someone else to do 3-4 jumps. But that's better than when I started.  When I started I didn't even attempt the jumps.

So usually by about 1/2-way through, I'm glancing at the clock, trying to count down the minutes until the end of the class.  And I've learned I had to really keep my heart rate in check.  In that class it's so easy to go, go, go and just keep going.  It is fun, even though sometimes I feel like I'm going to die. (Kidding!!) But if I let my heart rate get too high and stay too high, I wind up having a killer migraine by the time I get home.  So I have to back off a bit on the last half of the class.

By the time we leave, I get off that bike -- carefully, because my legs are like jelly and I REALLY don't want to face plant in front of the skinnies.  I can barely walk to the disposable wipes to wipe down my bike. There's sweat literally rolling down my back, dripping off my hair onto my neck.  My breathing is quick but deep.  And the pride that I feel for finishing another kicking fitness class is bubbling up through all that - making the muscle fatigue and the sticky work out clothes worth it.  I'm telling you, there is nothing like pushing yourself to the point that you think you won't make it, and then keeping on going a little further.  There's nothing like knowing I absolutely did my best.  It may not have been faster or longer than my neighbor's pace, but it was my best so far.  I just feel so accomplished.  So gloriously exhausted and accomplished.

So if you're thinking about trying something new - do it!  Don't let your preconceived notions about other people keep you from doing what YOU want to do.  Think about it - I spent most of my time before this class (and most any other time going to work out) judging the people who were going to be there because I thought they were going to judge me.  I started judging them first! LOL

Well, thank God some co-workers talked me into going that first time.  It was well worth it.

Now, for an update.  I've lost 10 pounds!  That seems such a small amount to me still (my weight loss journey began 1/12/15, so 10 lbs in 2 months doesn't seem like much for a woman like me), BUT I know I've lost inches.  Check out the difference in my face (stepping WAAAAAY outside my comfort zone now!).  The first pic is in mid-December with my beautiful prayer daughter K.  The second pic is last weekend with my other precious prayer daughter H.  You can just barely see a difference in my face - not as swollen, I guess.  And clothes are fitting better.  As much fun as it is to embrace this new fit life and enjoy working out as much as I do, I still struggle to keep my focus and not get discouraged when I see those numbers.  So I keep looking for things like this to kind of prove to myself that I am doing something right, I guess.

Here's to small steps -- it may take me a while, but I'll get there!

Stand!

Life is funny.  When you think you have everything planned out, you will soon realize how "funny" life really is.  Sometimes I think God's two favorite words are "Oh, really???"

I have made plans, changed plans, forgotten plans, gave up on plans, and made plans again.

The last couple weeks have been weeks WITHOUT plans.  I  haven't been able to post like I wanted and things have been sooo busy!  There are things I want to share but I just can't, so I had a bit of writer's block.  And while I haven't done that great-- really I've been beating myself up over my choices lately --somehow the scale has remained the same. Which is actually a surprise. I thought I would have gained more than the 0.6 pounds I did, but maybe my choices weren't so bad after all?

Or maybe I was so intently focused on what I considered to be bad, that I didn't notice the good?

So this week I'm working on focusing better.  And just when I think I'm messing this up again I'm going to remind myself of a favorite scripture: When you have done all that you can to stand, keep standing! (My paraphrase)

A Quick Motivation Quote List

Whew, what a weekend! After a backache, and 3-day migraine, more trips to the chiropractor and getting to see most of our family over the weekend, I am pooped!  We've not started doing the morning work outs yet, since exercising with a backache and migraine is NOT my idea of fun...but I'm going to do that tomorrow morning, since my headache is gone, praise God!

Since I've been sitting a lot the last few days, I've had plenty of time to think about why I want my life to be different.  I've outlined a few of my motivation points, but today I thought I'd make a list of my favorite quotes to help me keep the focus when the going gets tough (as it's been the last few days).  Hope you enjoy too!  And feel free to share some of your favorite quotes in the comments!

"No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everybody on the couch."





"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you're doomed if you don't try."






"I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me (HIS) strength." Phil 4:13






Make it a great week, y'all!

Working Through the Label I've Given Myself

I realize I shared A LOT in the last two posts - and was definitely more transparent than I have *EVER* allowed myself to be on this subject.  To be honest, I'm still wondering if I shared too much.  But what's done is done, so we're all stuck with it.

I realize, too, that the main reason I still have a problem with it is due to my need to be seen a certain way.  I have a real problem with how I think other people see me - I've always wanted to be accepted, but it's more than that.  And being a Pastor's wife is part of it - feeling the need to be perfect all the time, etc.  - but I can't blame it all on that.

The thing is, I can let myself get absolutely sick worrying about whether this person thought I wasn't good enough when I did xyz, or that person thought I was being uppity because I was too shy to speak.

So admitting that I have an issue with food - that's one thing (OK, a blind man could tell I have an issue with food).  But telling the world that my issue centers around binge eating makes it REALLY personal and really amps up the vulnerability factor for me.  I mean, who would want to seek advice or even a friendship if their Pastor's wife/women's leader, co-worker, mom, sister, etc. had such a huge problem when it comes to controlling their food intake. And, yes, I also realize that is flawed thinking, but for so long it has been MY thinking, so that's part of what I'm working through.

I know I'm not the only one that feels this way - it just seems that way sometimes! ;-)  That's one of the reasons why I decided to restart this blog and document my journey.  Because I know this journey isn't just a physical one.  And maybe there's someone else out there who feels too vulnerable to put their issue out there like this.  Maybe they can find some peace and help through my story.  Granted, my story is still being written, but I'm OK with that.

I did want to address the whole misconception that fat people just need to eat less or move more to be healthier.  On the surface, that's true.  The formula for successful weight loss is simply to burn more calories than you intake. Sounds easy enough, right?

Of course it is!  .....  If you take out emotions and addictions.  But let me tell you: I haven't figured out how to do that, so here we are stuck again.  Stuck in our stinkin' thinkin'.

For years, I didn't think I had an issue like binge eating.  I just thought I was fat because I like food.  Well, the thing that I'm having to learn is this:

Food is just food!

I may think I love food, but food sure doesn't love me back.  And my "love" for food is simply a false emotion anyway.  There's another emotion under there somewhere that is making me want the comfort or distraction of food so that I don't feel that underlying emotion, whatever it is.  

I used to think it was boredom.  I totally think that's a valid emotion, right? 

Now I've realized for me,  it's definitely stress-induced.  Having a hard day at work means you would see me stopping my the convenient store to get a 20-oz Mountain Dew and a Nanee's (local bakery) fresh apple fritter.  (And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I gained back the weight I lost earlier this year so stinking quick!)

Seriously, if my husband was picking me up from work on those days (usually they were days I'd get a call from an irate customer or days I made a mistake on my paperwork), I'd send him a text that said, "bad day.  need a MD and snack."  And, God love him, my husband would bring me exactly what I asked for.  He really spoils me rotten anyway - I'm not ashamed to admit that! :-)

But now I'm learning to direct my attention elsewhere.  Having this blog as an outlet has definitely helped with that.  But another thing that has helped is actually some advice I got from my favorite podcast, "Half Size Me".  (Check it out - on iTunes or Stitcher radio, or go to halfsizeme.com.)  When a binge eater feels the urge to binge, Heather (the host, who went from 315lbs to 150-ish by learning to have a healthier relationship with food) suggests you say to yourself, "I am choosing to eat these 4 donuts even though this will NOT contribute to my goal of reaching a healthy weight." (or insert whatever your goal is).  

She actually suggests saying it out loud, but I'm not to the talking-to-myself stage yet. :-)

I think this post is getting really long, so next post, I will delve into the mindset of a binge eater, versus the mindset of a healthy eater.  I believe there are way too many assumptions and stigmas that hold the obese population of America back.  Some of them are put on us by the skinnies, but - let's be real - some of them are put on us by our worst enemy: ourselves.

On a lighter note, despite the crazy weekend and a binging episode that totally knocked my feet out from under me, I am somehow DOWN almost 4 lbs!  That means in 3 weeks, I've lost 9 lbs.  I credit the lack of freedom from Mountain Dews, and drinking about 100 ounces of water each day.

What small changes have you made this week to help you reach your goal?

Writing the Vision

We've had a VERY busy and trying weekend but this week is starting off to a good start.  Last weekend we were out of town for our friend's funeral, and I'm pretty sure I gained back at least 3 lbs from the "bad" choices I made.

Remember me talking about planning things and how well I do when I plan things out?  Well, I didn't plan for the restaurants we went to and when I was trying figure out what I was going to eat there, I wound up getting flustered (I HATE being the last person not knowing what to get), not to mention my emotional state was a bit raw... so I sort of defaulted to what the old Tab would have ordered.

So I consumed more calories than what I should have on Friday and Saturday, and probably Sunday too, since we went with my sis and her bambinos to their favorite country buffet.  (I did eat mostly veggies, but you know southern cooking can add on the calories without you even knowing it! LOL)

In spite of that, I'm NOT throwing in the towel.  I had my depressed moments about it, believe me, but I have to be careful not to let myself stay in that place.  I can't afford to go under again. I've GOT to keep my head above water, even when it seems I'm too weak to keep on.

I decided that for today's post, I'm going to remind myself of why I'm doing this - getting healthier and doing so in such a public, uber-accountable fashion.

1.  I will be a runner...and I will call myself a RUNNER.  I've walked/jogged a few times, but I'm ready to be running some 5ks!
2.  I will be able to take my son on vacation and not be concerned about weight limits, fitting in seats or standing/walking for long periods of time.
3.  I will shop at a place that does not carry plus-sized clothes.
4.  I will not worry about developing diabetes and heart conditions due to my sedentary lifestyle because I do not have a sedentary lifestyle any longer.
5.  I will not be ashamed for being the biggest mom in whatever room I walk into.
6.  I will help others realize their potential in becoming the healthiest person they can be, too!
7.  I will look back and realize that I AM STRONG ENOUGH to do what God has called me to do; and to change what God wants me to change!

What are your goals or motivation points?  Write them out!!!

Every Step

Found this online and it really struck a chord with me.  Hope it blesses someone else too!

Still Standing..

I'm still here!!!  It's been such a CRAZY summer!  4 of our nieces (well, the ones 8 years and older) came to spend a week with us in consecutive order (most of them made it the whole week), my Dad joined the party one of those weeks, we've had youth camps, funerals, birthdays and anniversaries, spend-the-nights, the premature birth of my may-as-well-be nephew, and actually worked in a date night for me and the hubs!  My fitness has absolutely taken a back burner and it shows...One of my reasons for not posting is, of course, the guilt I feel about not doing my best.  But, I'm trying to get over that. I actually get irritated because I don't WANT to NOT drink a Mountain Dew or NOT eat an unhealthy snack.  I totally understand Paul when he mentioned in the Bible something along the lines of "the things I don't want to do, I do and the things I want to do, I don't do."  I'm totally there.

So pray for me as I put one foot in front of the other and do what I know needs to happen.

Here's a bit of inspiration for you (and me!!):

And, because I now have this song stuck in my head from the title of this post, here's something to get your praise on (listen all the way to the end!):

Saturday List - Blogs & Sites

Yes, I know there's a place on my sidebar for this, but I wanted to give you a list of all kind of blogs and sites  I've found helpful and just plain enjoyable... :-)  They are in no particular order and you'll find all kinds of topics, from fitness to Chrisitanity, to motherhood, to crafting.... I'm sure there's something for (nearly) everyone in this Saturday List!!

fittipdaily.com == This site is a GREAT resource for all kinds of tips - from exercise to nutrition to even style & Hollywood.  I've set it as a favorite and check in every few days for whatever little nuggets the crew at fittipdaily.com have for me.
sparkpeople.com == You've seen me write about this before, but the fact is you can't beat a FREE resource for tracking food and fitness.  Honestly, even though I use my bodybugg and its software/program, I still use sparkpeople for my nutrition tracking.  Sparkpeople's food tracker has probably the LARGEST collection of foods to choose from & will allow you to add a recipe or food that's not listed.  When you do that, it's put into the collection so all the other sparkpeople.com members have access to it, too -- I'm serious.  Mega-Info on this site!
bringingprettyback.blogspot.com == follow Kristen as she continues on her journey to bringing the "pretty" back into her life.  She's already accomplished quite a bit in the fitness/weight loss arena, and she also writes about real-world things and it's really fun just to keep up with her.  Plus, I love her radio shows that she posts!!
moneysavingmom.com == one of the first blogs I started following a couple years ago...I totally have a blogger/mommy crush on Crystal!  The subtitle of her site says "Helping You Be a Better Home Economist" - and she totally does!  She'll alert you to deals - whether they are online, in store (and most times with coupons), but she also gives tips and info for living simpler and (drum roll, please...)  DEBT FREE!  Dave Ramsey is one of her financial 'heros' and he's actually mentioned her on his show and website because she's doing such a great job equipping families today with what they need to survive (and thrive!) in today's economy.  Plus, she's a Christian, which is always refreshing in the blogging world! :-)
fussymonkeybiz.blogspot.com == One of the most recent blogs I've been following.  I LOVE how Crystal (interesting how many Crystal's this list has...) uses Proverbs 31 as part of her header on her blog.  She blogs about her family and events and such like everyone does, but she has such a talent for decorating and shabby-chic craftiness that I feel totally inspired every time I visit!
lysaterkeurst.com/  == Lysa Terkeurst is my hero for helping me to realize that my weight loss battle isn't just a flesh-and-food kind of battle.  You may remember, she is the author of Made to Crave - a book that has totally transformed my life.  On her site, she does a great job at giving day-to-day encouragement on many different topics even though she goes through many hard times herself.  She is an awesome woman of God!
eachdaygodsway.wordpress.com/ == Leah is a good friend of mine, who I'm ashamed to say I don't see NEAR as often as I want.  But she is SUCH an encouragement on her blog!  Leah's a stay-at-home mom and wife who blogs about whatever truths the Lord reveals to her, and I can tell you from experience she is full of God's grace and love for her fellow Christian sisters.
And, last but definitely not least: sharalonghorne.blogspot.com/ == Let me just say it this way:  I want to be a Shara when I grow up! LOL  Shara is full-blooded, unashamed, almost in-your-face Pentecostal & proud of it.  It's so rare to find a Pentecostal woman who is NOT a kook (or "code 24" as some my my old WHC security friends would have said), but who is confident enough in what she believes that she honestly feels like she'd be doing wrong if she DIDN'T share! But she also blogs about things that real parents in the real world are concerned about.  I love her encouragements and her teachings, and I'm sure you will too!

Hope you enjoy!!  Happy reading!!

Have you seen this? - a tip for you!

So, I'm not a spokesperson for this website or anything - truth be known, they probably have no idea I exist! LOL 

But I wanted to share with you this really cool site I've found!  Sparkpeople.com is a great way of tracking your calorie intake, fitness routines, fitness goals, and much more.  I've been able to read articles about issues I'm dealing with, connect with people on their message boards - it's just great!

One of the coolest things is that when you start using it, you get points for nearly everything you do that's fitness-related, or sparkpeople.com related.  I didn't realize how competitive I was till I started racking those points up!  Guess we can blame the video game generation...

The part my husband likes best is that it's FREE! :-) 

So, check it out here: sparkpeople.com  --- You're going to love it, just like me! (oh, and they have a free app for iPhone that I use SEVERAL times a day!  very user-friendly!)

New Year, New...???

I hope everyone is having a GREAT new year so far!  Despite some yucky sickness running its course through my house, we're doing pretty well on this end of the 'net.

What goals have you set for yourself this year? 

J and I have decided on several different goals this year, but I won't bore you with the details of them all in one post.  The one I feel most empowered for is to get healthy in 2012!  I've just realized I've not set a goal that I would loose xxx amount of pounds in so many months, but instead my goals are more here-and-now focused.  Things like staying within my calorie goals each day and drinking my water each day ... or NOT drinking a mountain dew!  Today, I'm pleased to announce, I've hit all three of those goals!  Yay me! (LOL)

I'm in the middle of reading a book which I HIGHLY recommend titled Made to Crave: Satisyfing Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food  by Lysa TerKeurst.  Oh. My. Word.  I'm telling you, I feel like she is telling my very own story in this book!  For so long, I've had such a battle with my relationship with food - and I've realized that my relationship with the Lord is not as strong as I'd like it to be (or even as strong as it has been in the past).  But making the connection between the two was a pretty far-fetched task for me.  Maybe because I didn't really want to see it - who knows? 

I'll be updating y'all on my progress through the book, I'm sure.  :-)  But I do want to leave you with a tidbit that has really made a difference for me.  You know that saying that we've all heard a million-bazillion times: "Nothing tastes as good as thin fills."  I've heard it and repeated it until, honestly, it has no meaning whatsoever for me anymore.  But when you think about the struggle that a person with food issues/addictions has had (like me) just being 'thin' isn't going to be enough of a motivator to make a difference in the choices they are making when they are faced with a stressful/depressing/difficult day or decision. 

But, for me, the motivation of having VICTORY over a struggle that has defeated me for way too many years seems to be the exact motivator I need.  So my new mantra is:

Nothing tastes as good as VICTORY feels.

Victory.  That's all I'm aiming for, y'all.