I have a secret to tell you! (And yes, I totally appreciate the irony - that I'm posting my "secret" on my blog!) My secret is this: I don't think I'm good enough. For most anything, really. I feel like I'm just trying to fit in with the good PM's in my field, just trying to get by as a youth pastor's wife, just sliding through as a mom, and (one of my favorite phrases) I"m just fakin' it till I'm makin' it!
I teach my young girls in the youth group that we have to be confident of who we are in Christ, but it's so hard for me to live by that! There's so many times when I'm getting overwhelmed with the busy-ness of my life that I think I've become one of those people who are 'jack of all trades, but master of none.' I'm stretched so thin, it seems, that my duties do not have the outstanding results that I want every one of my endeavors to have. Instead, I feel that my results are more mediocre and average and boring. I am NOT happy with that. I like being proud of what I've done, you know? I like knowing that my efforts are yielding positive results. (seriously, is there anyone out there who doesn't?) ;-)
Well I've recently downloaded Mandisa's "What if We Were Real" album, and I've got to say the entire album is great! But there's a song on there that literally had me boo-hooing as I was doing the laundry the other day.
This song is called "The Truth About Me" and it really paints the picture of the loving, caring God that we have and the way he REALLY sees us. I recommend downloading it ASAP!
We've got to get it through our heads that we are God's creation! He created us - and we all know He doesn't waste His time, right?
Anyway, listen to the song - maybe it'll bless you like it blessed me and you can see yourself through the eyes of hope instead of our eyes of self-doubt. Then when you have those days where nothing you do is good enough, find this song again. Because, as Mandisa so gracefully put it, "it would change everything if only I believed the truth about me."
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